A Rose By Any Other Name- or- The Self Concept

[Jezture]

 People throw the concept and the word Self around rather indiscriminately. I think for myself. I care about myself. It would be a waste to my self-worth; but what exactly do they mean? When I try to sit and define myself many things go through my mind. Am I what my titles make me? Is it my appearance that conveys Self? Are my thoughts on things the most important? Maybe it is my hobbies and preferences? In searching for a term to define I must in fact define myself. The first thing that I see when I begin to examine this concept of Self is the titles that are associated with me as a person. I am a mother of two children. I am a wife of almost five years to a wonderful Navy man. I am a student at Olympic college. I am an employee at Olympic Cinemas. I am a writer, a witch, a dreamer, and sometimes a dancer. I am many things; but do they define my Self? No, I think these things are all aspects of my Self and as such are vitally important, but they are not the definition of my Self; so I must move on to another genre of thought. Now, what about appearances? Does the fact that I have black, brown, blue, purple, and silver hair make me who I am? Is there a direct correlation to my weight or height that dictates my Self to me? Is my self made up of the clothing I wear or the hairstyle I choose? I think that these things are an expression of Self, my hair cut and colors are an outward showing of the inner me. The clothes I wear are for comfort within me, but they aren’t the be-all end-all of what makes me my Self. I must move onto another aspect and see where that takes me. How about the stands I take on certain matters? Are my political views---the fact that I am a Liberal---what makes me me? What about the fact that I am a Witch? Does my spirituality designate my place in the world as Self? Is it the way I view war, art, music, literature? Are any of these things so relevant that I cannot define me without them? Are they so relevant that they are me? As with everything else it seems, my views and thoughts, my emotions and stances are all parts of me but they aren’t the final product, either. What else could my Self be? Finally, what about my hobbies or actions? Does the fact I read Tarot define me? How about that I love to curl up with a good book on a cold night, or that I stayed up until four thirty in the morning to write this paper? Do those things define me to myself? In actuality these are some of the most important aspects of my Self, but they still aren’t a full definition. In reality, it would be like trying to explain a car and only mentioning the wheels if you looked at any one of the aforementioned aspects of my Self that I tried to define. So, what makes a definition of Self? What IS the definition of the concept of my Self? I think it can be summed up best in the words “I Question”. My Self is so many things that any definition is an ongoing struggle in futility and an exhausting exercise in self realization. The definition of self is just a conundrum of meanings that are whole and halved all at once. I am the mother and the wife. I am the person with blue hair and strange clothes. I am the liberal and the book lover. My self is an ongoing definition of life and my way of living it. What is the definition of this essay? So what about Self? Self is a personalized concept to every one and no two essays on its definition could ever be the same. This is my definition. What’s yours?