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Aversion to cafemom?
- Mar 9, 2010 at 2:36 AM
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- Comments (13) Total Views (290) Everyone can see this journal post.
I wonder if there are others who sometimes feel like cafemom seems like an obligation? Almost like an aversion. Not for lack of unconditional love for friends made here, just a feeling of guilt when I want to crawl into a hole for awhile. Guilt for not posting and commenting in close-knit groups.
I am not a healthy person. One of my issues is agoraphobia. As a result of this, my social life in the non-cyberspace world is very small. I don't leave my house very often. For Doctor appointments and grocery shopping, I have to leave. I take anxiety medication so I don't miss any of my kids' sports games and band concerts. Sometimes my neighbors are successful in prying me out of my home.
I know I have many wonderful friends on cafemom who do care about me. Actually, I met my very best friend here. She flew to WA from TX to meet me. Then my family and I ( and copious amounts of medications) made a road trip to TX this past summer and we stayed with her family for vacation. They in turn, are making the road trip here this summer so her family can see where we live. All because of cafemom.
When I haven't been on the computer for several days, I start to feel guilty. Is this normal? I feel like I should be online so I don't miss anything important in the lives of my CM friends. Yet, at the same time, I don't want to project negativity because I'm feeling like crap and would just rather lose myself in Tivo and books. This is double-edged. I log on now and see I haven't had a chatter-box message in weeks. I have conflicted feelings about that, though. If I don't come on for several days at a time, it's not fair I should expect anyone to take the time to say 'hi' either. I can't help but feeling forgotten. But, I haven't been showing myself. Tit for tat. I acknowledge that completely.
Whether for health reasons or not, am I the only one who avoids the computer and then feel guilty? As a result, I just add one more reason to feel bad in a long list of reasons why I am just too depressed and tired to even comment anyways.
Comments:
Well, I've been missing you like mad, woman. But, I also "knew" that you needed some space. I could feel it. So I didn't call...but I WANTED to. Many, many times. I lurve you, ya know.
I get the aversion thing. And the guilt. Been there, done that, will take that trip again. It can sometimes be emotionally draining to keep up with those you love here on CM. Jenna is real good at untangling that whole aversion/guilt thing...she did it for me.
I can call now? Yes?
I get it. I (hug) you now.
I, too, *get* it...We ALL miss you, honey, but we all KNOW you as well. No need to feel bad! It just makes us salivate when you DO get a chance to get online! *HUGS*
Yup, what Brenda said, you're like a rare treat we all want to eat up whenever we get the chance!
I completely understand and have similar feelings with online. I've been rather slacking around cafemom lately and have filled my time with taking kids to the park, coffee, and watching Doctor Who on netflix. Heck, I even rearranged my living room. Most of your friends here know about your anxiety and know that now and then you need your space. We luvses you Jo.
You guys can call ANYTIME. It's just the computer thing I avoid. It doesn't mean I won't talk to my friends.
I know you know...that helps A LOT!!!
Luv you guys muchly.
hey girlie girl, we all completely understand and it is a great treat when you do come on up to my house like you did saturday night, you totally made my day! You make me laugh, giggle and half the time, pee my pants LOL. But we also all understand that you need space and time to yourself and your family, we all love you very much and love you just the way you are! (( HUGS))
You owe CM members/friends nothing. Go at your own pace. If they don't understand (which it appears by their comments they DO understand) it's their loss not yours. Your friends appear to understand. Good luck.
I am a very lucky woman to have so many understanding friends. I should have never and will try hard not to have the guilt bug anymore. To all of you who have taken the time to comment, a sincere thank you.
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Sweetie try not to feel that way. This site is for socializing and getting advice and making friends. It's not an obligation unless you make it one. You need to give yourself permission to not log on and not feel guilty about it. We aren't going anywhere and you won't even know if you missed something but that is totally ok. Tell yourself CM is supposed to be enjoyable and if it is making you feel bad try to remind yourself of that. I hope you can find a way to not feel the way you do..it'll take time but eventually you'll realize nothing here is that big a deal unless you make it one. GL *hugs*
- Allergic2Stupid
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