Losing the Faith

[eema.gray]

I've been a semi-crunchy momma for, well, the larger part of my life.  I'm a farm girl at heart, grew up on a dairy farm, and now trying to bring the farm to the city, even in our little apartment.  I haven't always lived up to my ideals but they've always been in the back of my mind.

Lately, I've been becoming a little disillusioned.  It's not that I want to stop recycling, growing veggies, supporting local agriculture/business, and making as many products from scratch as I can.  It's just that I've always been a bit of an odd fit within the "green" movement and a couple things that have happened recently have only highlighted the gulf.  I'm absolutely positive there are other people, conservative like me and Ranger Daddy are, who are also trying to get back to basics.  I just haven't met them yet.  Not knowing them, though, is making it hard for me to keep up my motivation.

One of the incidents that's been weighing heavily revolves around an article scandelously titled "Breastmilk Not As Beneficial As Once Thought."  Actually reading the entire article and applying some critical thinking skills to its content reveal that the headline is more of an attention grabber than anything else.  The article ACTUALLY talks about a study recently concluded in Noway that demonstrated a strong link between elevated levels of male hormones in nursing women and difficulty nursing.  PCOS, thyroid imbalances, and having a boy are all suggested reasons why some women have trouble producing enough milk to feed a baby.

Now this is very interesting to me.  The standard literature regarding breastfeeding states that something like 1% of women have "true" low supply and implies that anybody else is simply not trying hard enough.  But we know that people's hormone levels are getting more and more screwed up.  Thyroid imbalances are nearing epidemic levels among women.  PCOS (related to insulin intolerence) is becoming a more and more frequent reason for infertility.  Hormones are being found in our drinking water and our meat.  It actually makes a fair amount of sense to me that hormones that we're randomly exposed to in daily life are impacting an increasing number of women's abilities to nurse their children.  My hope is that the results of this study will be replecated at that health professionals will use these results to first realize that more than 1% of women have trouble producing adequate supply and second to figure out new ways to treat these women.

All this comes up in relation to one of my groups, in which this article was posted.  The overwhelming response suggests that either people failed to read the entire article or else failed to apply critical thinking skills to what the author wrote.  Watching the responses is making me question A LOT of my "green" faith.  While I truly believe that governments and corporations should not be followed blindly, I am also beginning to believe that the other side of the fence should not be blindly followed either.  Ranger Daddy recently mentioned he wants us to eat in season.  My first thought was to edge him towards obseving a 100 mile travel limit on our food.  Then I realized that our society is no longer set up to keep food local.  I will do my best to keep our food dollars close to home.  We have two shares in a CAS beginning in June.  The grocery stores I go to are voluntarily participating in the COL (country of origin labels) program.  But I'm not going to stop buying flour and sugar because they're produced thousands of miles from our home.  I'm not going to stop buying bananas because Yeled loves them and there's nothing local that quite measures up to his love of that fruit.

I guess I'm becoming a believer in moderation.  My children are going to a pediatrician regularly.  I recently decided to keep them up to date on their vaccinations.  I'm looking for an affordable indoor composting system, planting a gigantic container garden for this summer, and I've got a jar of proto-vinegar brewing away in a closet.  I don't believe doctors are evil, though I don't believe them implicitly.  I don't believe in global warming in the textbook sense - I believe the earth has natural cycles and we don't know nearly enough about those cycles to accurately scream "the sky is falling."  I believe in self reliance, not necessarily self sufficiency.  I find joy in making things for myself, because I enjoy doing them and because it costs less in many cases. 

Ranger Daddy and I watched Food Inc a couple months ago.  It's had a huge impact on our thinking and our approach to buying things.  But the part of the movie that I still think about every day is an interview with the founder of StoneyBrook Farms (YoBaby Yogurt and other yogurt products).  He talks about how, when he was in college, he got involved in one of the back to the earth movements.  He also says that eventually he realized that he was speaking to the already converted.  That by going outside the movement he could attempt to make real change.  He said that corporations have the power to make huge positive changes because of their buying power and influence.  So today, StoneyBrook Farms is carried by Wal Mart.  Not because Wal Mart is wonderful but because one purchase order to his company, which is comitted to its organic roots even today, has a huge trickle down effect.  It increases the demand for organic milk, the demand for organic, high quality fruit, the demand for non chemical coloring agents (the blueberry yogurt we picked up last week uses elderberry juice for enhanced coloring).  Because his company uses green technology wherever possible, a purchase order from Wal Mart also significantly reduces emmisions.  He is affecting change from within the very system he once fought against.

That's sort of the way I feel right now.  RD and I have had a dream for a few years of buying 5 or 10 acres somewhere and becoming as self sufficient as possible.  I'm no longer holding quite so tightly to that dream.  A week ago, I signed us up for home delivery of milk.  In the short time that the driver was in our parking lot, she had half a dozen other people come up and ask questions about the company's product.  It was an eye opening moment.  SImply by living in an apartment complex and chosing to have high quality organic milk delivered to our door step, I've gotten 6 other families interested in the same possibility.  Maybe, just maybe, my family can make more of an impact by staying in the city and making sensibly, earth friendly choices, than we can by isolating ourselves on our own land.

[Kenre]

Mar. 11, 2010 at 1:21 AM

It's not loosing anything, but rather adapting.

DH is going to get a job working on computers, most likely for big corp. in big cities. My dream of ever living on a homestead (unless we can buy enough land in the middle of a suburb somewhere) is just about gone. I'll try to adapt to this, because I know I can.

We just have to adapt.

Oh, and Monkey loves banana's too. He asks for one just about everyday.

[AverageJosey1]

Mar. 11, 2010 at 4:30 PM

I hear you, and I feel you :)  You do the best you can with what you have and hope that others will follow your lead.  I'm glad you gave reference to StoneyBrook Farm's founder - it makes perfect sense.  And yes, I actually do seek out their products at my local Walmart!  Sometimes if we hold ourselves to standards that are too strict....it ends up defeating the purpose by causing even more stress and trouble.  I applaud all of your efforts.  Life is a continual growth process..... I think it's our job to ask questions, re-evaluate, and evolve - never settling just because someone or something else says we should.  Kudos for keeping your eyes & mind open - it's clear you're doing a wonderful job as mother, wife, and human being!  Thanks for sharing .....

[catholicmamamia]

Mar. 12, 2010 at 5:25 PM

I totally relate to what you are saying.... and for me the thing to keep in mind is "everything in moderation" and "as natural as possible". Thank you for such a well thought out journal!  ~Mia

[mom2aspclboy]

Mar. 15, 2010 at 8:57 AM

I can also totally relate to what you are saying! For us, it is a fine line we walk b/t the worlds of consumerism & "back to the Earth". We, too, have given up our dream of 5 acres & freedom and have instead realized that we're going to have to settle for a 1/4 acre in suburbia (and a hill at that) & making the best of what we have. With that thought in mind, I bought the book "The backyard Homestead" by Carleen Madigan, which shows you how to have your homestead no matter where you live, whether it's in an apartment complex or your own acreage - It's not where you are, but what you do where you are. We have started converting most of our yard into an edible landscape, growing a good bit of what we like to eat & putting it by for the off season (by freezing, canning & drying). We're even trying to figure out how to further insulate our 3-season porch to convert it into a conservatory for more tropical plants like miniature banana & citrus trees.

Hmmm, maybe we should start our own little group here on Cafemom? Maybe call it something like The City Homestead?