From My Mom!!!!!

[unsuspected]

 

 

 

Hi Honey. I cannot talk right now. Terrible sore throat. Will be seeing the Dr. this afternoon. Will let you know if it is Strep. hopefully not. I have lung congestion too. I hope I didn't pass my germs on to you and yours., or Rosie.
Thank you honey for caring so much about your Dad and I and your Brother. I'm sorry things are so complex. I know you want what is best and I know too how it is being where you are. ( Rosie and Marty)
Your Dad and I are united and we do not want our family to torn apart by this. We are trying to have Christlike love for all concerned at this time. NOT enabling love. We will be talking with Pastor Mark and maybe someone from Glenkirk. Pastor Adam or a family counslor they recomend.
We need help as a family. We truly always have. Your dad knows it and is now willing to have intervention. I am hopeful. It hurts me to know you and your Sister's trust in your Brother is broken. I DO understand, because of the circumstances, he WILL have to earn it back. Please know he has given his heart to Christ, quit smoking and is clean and sober. I feel he would benifit by taking meds, but so far he is not willing to. Pray for that. Pray for wisdom for your dad and i. And know always that I love you very much.

 

 

Mom ...
That is all well and good, if it were true.
He has been down this road before, this is the second time he has said all of the same repertoir.
I can't make your choices for you, but like I said to Kevin ... I can't stand by them either as long as they are unheathy.
I'm tired of pretending that everything is OK ... is it not ok for him to steal from you, to use you, to verbally and physicaly abuse you and my dad. Those are choices you are allowing to continue, but I don't have to.
This MAN ... called MY home, his pregnant sister, to yell, scream, cuss and disrespect me. That is abuse that I am not willing to sweep under the rug.
His choices have hurt our entire family and he can not undo that just by SAYING he has changed ... in the same breath that he is vomiting hatred and anger.

I wish I could talk to you in person.
BUT
1. I will not bring my children to your home while he is there.
2. I would like Robert to be with me.
3. I don't see how I can speak openly and honestly with you and dad while Kevin is there.
4. If what I got from him yesterday is his understanding of a 'mature, adult conversation' ... it is impossible to communicate with him.

I love you both,mom and dad ... I love my little brother too, but like i said in the other letter ... who he is now is not my little brother ... and High Five for his "change" ... but it has been 2 weeks, dad's scabs are probably not even healed and try to excuse it away if you must, but his words to me were vial.

I would like to see you remove him from your home, cut him out of your wallet, change your locks and get a security system ... those are the choices I would make for you.
But you and dad are going to do what you see fit, and I know your intentions are to love him. But you can never control him, just as I can't control you and make you do the healthy, wise thing. Keeping him in your home, never letting him fall is only crippeling him. It is better that he sees reality and faces consequneces NOW than when he is 30, 40 50.

Anyway mom ... I LOVE you and Dad and this whole thing is painful to watch. I've bitten my toungue for a long time and I am just tired of it. I can't keep pretending.
But I know there's no use in becoming a broken record either.

I am sorry for the choices you are faced with, and I know how much you love your kids. You and dad are nothing but blessings on every life you touch and I do respect that you are trying to handle this with Christlike love. I just pray you can let go of the thought that you can somehow pay for Kevin's transgressions or take them upon yourself.

[palotasfamily]

Mar. 15, 2010 at 4:04 PM

What a great letter you wrote!   Good Job!   How old is the brother?   Seems like he's been clean and sober for 2 weeks, but is still living at your mom and dad's ... I can tell you from personal experience, that he will not stay that way if they keep enabling him.   You can't keep GIVING to addict ....  that just keeps them going.  He will never quit if they don't stop.  You did a great job by writing such a great letter to her !

Hugs

Jessica P.

[Lb128f]

Mar. 16, 2010 at 2:03 AM

Saying a prayer for you all!

I hope your Mom is feeling better soon!

[queenpoptart]

Mar. 16, 2010 at 2:30 PM

Although I am not really understanding the need to share your Mom's PERSONAL emails to YOU about your PERSONAL family problems, I do hope that things get better.

I would not like it if my child shared OUR PERSONAL emails all over the Internet. KWIM?