The other side of C P S

[my2kids312]

I noticed a journal post last week on here talking about a woman with lots of kids and ...( do not want to give away the post). Actually what was posted was not important. What was important was the other women who were so quick to jump and respond to her to call C P S  on the mother. It seems to me that C P S is there to protect the children and people call when they feel the children are in danger or could potentially be in danger. I get that and for that reason it is a good system. Yet there is another side to that is also use so many times to be vindictive and to get revenge on someone. How many times have good mothers been called on because some one in there life wanted to just screw with them? You need little to no proof to have a social worker sent to some one's house and have them investigated for the next three months. I am here not because it happened to me. God forbid it ever does. Yet it happened to me in the sense that when I was 8 years old I was placed in foster care because my older brother who was fighting with my mother and having a tantrum called on my mother because he could not get his way. So after the police were called from his lies, they came out and the next day while my brother and I were in school we are met at the school gate by a white man and a black woman in a brown car. They tell us they are going to take us some place and we would not be seeing out mother for a while. I do not remember the whole of the details I was only 8. I do remember where they took us it was a house a big house and the lady was older maybe in her sixties, named Ms. Taylor. We stayed at that house for 9 months. It was the worst time in my life. That lady was so mean to us. Me especially. I was as I said 8 and very much a moma's baby. Therefore I cried for my moma a lot. And I was beaten for it. She would beat us with switches. She beat us for everything. My brother John was older (12) and so he leaned how to get out of the whippings but I was so scared and wanted my moma. She whipped me one time for crying because she turned out the lights in the room and it was dark. She as well beat me one time for bringing a snail into the house. I thought it was a pretty rock. Anyway you get the point. We had no family coming around except a great uncle who would come by and see us  and bring us school work. He was a teacher and she did not have us registered in school. That was such a wonderful time because we got to see some one we knew. All of a sudden one day she told us we would not be seeing him anymore because she asked him not to come anymore because he upset us. Man my heart broke that day because he was the only bit of joy I had. I tell you it was miserable. This was in the 70's so perhaps times and rules for foster parents  have changed but that woman abused us more than our mother ever did. All our mother did was whip our butt when we needed it. Not to mention this lady would tell us how our mother did not love us or want us. I just wanted some one out there to think before you are so quick to call CPS on someone. You are tearing apart families and causing unimaginable pain and hurt on both sides. I am 40 and still remember that horrible time in my life. Think of the kid's who are torn from they're families, friends, school and familiarity. It is so scary and how many horror stories do you hear about kids being molested in foster homes? I pray what me and my brother went through was the last horror storey ever. I wished the other mothers who read that post on Cafe Mom would have been willing to say as I did when I answered the post, Why not offer the mother some help, some emotional support? some babysitting services instead of judging and just saying call C P S. As I said before I know so many kids are being mistreated and abused and they deserve a safe place to go. But to call on a mother out of spite or because she disciplined her child in a way you do not approved is not a reason to tear a family apart. I just pray there are no more Ms. Taylors out there being foster mothers.

[CheshireHope]

Mar. 16, 2010 at 5:05 PM

this happens more than people think.

my oldest two  were 4 and 3 they played rough alot. so they would have scratches from each other. but my mother yep my own mother who lived an another state called CPS on my husband accused him of beating not only the children but me as well. CPS comes in looks at m eldst's scratch marks which his brother gave him and they called my mother back and  told her to come pick us up. told me infrontof one of my friends either i left with the kids or they would take them. they didn't bother to look around my clean home, didn't bother to ask  our friends, or other relatives questions. they took the word of my mother who lived in another sate who tried to kidnap my children earlier that year(yep  had the police with me when i picked up my children because she was refusing to bring hem home as she had agreed to to do before school started).

my children and i were put through hell for 4 months because the state where my mother lived let he make all the decisions about MY CASE. thee was no power of attorney it was the "protective grandmother" the 1st case worker claimed. then we had a new case worker and away months of my mother cursing me flipping me off, hitting me, threaten me  infront of the children i was finally able to get the new worker to listen to me but it took my mother kicking me and my children out of her house in 65 degree weather in our PJs. looking her glass door behind us and screaming at me "im call the police thas child abuse having them outside in just ther PJs in the cold!" the police made us go back to my mother's house an told me to "suck t up. You've got all you need here. Your mother is offernig to help you raise you children you should be grateful."(police officer was a family friend of mom's) so finally the new worker came out and i finally interrupted my mother and told him everything from, the hitting,cursing, threats, her not allowing me to use the phone o rthe computer, stopping me from contacting my friends, and trying to force me to divorce my husband.. she blew up infront of the worker, told him to put me in a shelter.  he couldn't believe how fast she exploded let alone how many times i had called the police, and nothing was told to him about it, how any times i had called shelters and the women from the shelters telling him that yes they heard my mother shouting at me cursing me, telling me to get the fuck out of her house. the man apologized telling me that when th 1st workers removed us they did us wrong putting me children into a abusive environment when their wasn't any proof of abuse to begin with.and  that the 1st worker put my children in danger.

me and my 3 little ones 4,3,1 were in a shelter for 2 weeks until that state paid for our bus tickets back home. we got home(we we're in the middle of a move when CPS showed up and sent me to my mothers) the new worker we had here they told my us they there was no cause for the 1st workers to have removed the children from the home other than the countless calls they received from my mother in the other state. the 1st workers got tired of the out of state calls and wanted to end them. our last worker said that they will not accept any out of state calls against my family again.

the sad thing is my mother is abusive always was. but thats a whole another story. but my husband and i refuse to take about what had happened around the kids and they till talk about it on their own. who their grandma "kicked our butts out" the words from my soon to be 6 year old.

there are times when CPS drops the ball too. i called CPS on a former friend of my while she lived wih me because she was neglecting her children left my husband and I to pick up the bill and take care of  them and i began to worry about their safety because i found out that her oldest had a seizuone night for 8 hours on and off and she refused to call 911 i thought i had dreamt the whole thing. .  her children started to call my husband daddy and her youngest one still calls me mom when he sees me and it makes me cry. after CPS placed the kids with their daddies she took off partying and having fun. then after CPS said she was a fix parent she took off out of state without the kids and didn't tell the dads until after she was gone. she was gone for about 2 1/2 months. then she came back thinking that both the dads would hand their kids back over to her. one of them did the other didn't. and yet she was deemed a fit parent even tho she abandons her children. not the 1st time she had done it either.

[mothermayiam]

Mar. 16, 2010 at 5:19 PM

Your right!  great post.  People should think twice before calling your story is more common than one may think.  Thanks for sharing your story

[kansasmom1978]

Mar. 16, 2010 at 5:51 PM

I think its petty and stupid to call CPS when you just want to mess with someones life.  Not only are you screwing someone over, your wasting taxpayers money, and peoples time.  If a person is so easily amused by siccing the authorites on a person to get even, then they are dumber than anyone probably ever thought.  And have lost every ounce of respect.

[my2kids312]

Mar. 16, 2010 at 5:52 PM

Wow ..CheshireHope... that is unbelievabe what you and your kids went through. It is just a prime example of a system that is designed to help, but is often taken advantage of by people.

(Original Poster)

[Lb128f]

Mar. 16, 2010 at 7:08 PM

I'm so sorry you and your Brother went through all that. That's so sad. I'm hoping you did get to go back to your Mom? I agree with you about calling CPS...there should be a valid reason IF a call is made.

[my2kids312]

Mar. 16, 2010 at 10:47 PM

We did get to go back but the relationship was never quite the same for me or my brother and mother. We still loved her (she is deceased now) but things were never really the same. We both eventually went to stay with my grandmother. My brother and I have never to this day talked about it anymore.

(Original Poster)

[HaydensMommy007]

Mar. 17, 2010 at 2:28 AM

the system is so fucked up.

[alexsmom83]

Mar. 17, 2010 at 3:24 AM

Back when my first son was 9 months old someone called cps on me and lied and said i left him outside in his stroller by himself for hours. which i would never ever do!  i was outside with him the whole time pushing him around in his stroller. they also claimed i yelled in  his face and that my house was soo nasty and that i had 20 cats and dogs, they made up all kinds of crap. i had to go have a meeting with a worker and bring my son and she even watched me change his diaper! then she came to my house and seen that i didn't have any nasty stuff in it and i didn't have 20 cats and dogs i only had 2 dogs in a fence outside that was it. she checked his crib, where i kept his clothes, my kitchen, she looked around at everything. she said everything was fine and i recieved a letter in the mail a few weeks later saying that the case was closed. i'm pretty sure it was the neighbor across the street just wanting to stir up trouble. she is always trying to cause trouble for all the neighbors. even though that was a while back i still sometimes worry that someone will lie on me again. it makes me soo mad because i would never do anything to hurt my children and i hate being accused of things i didn't do and would never do. the neighbor doesn't even like kids, she needs to mind her own bussiness and quit lieing on people.

[weirdjojo]

Mar. 17, 2010 at 4:07 AM

Unfortunately times have not changed anything when it comes to CPS, if anything they have gotten better at how well they are used by others for revenge and allowing children to be beaten and neglected in foster-care. My son was taken due to revenge by my ex-mother-in-law and ex-husband for a divorce and child support decree that included a restraining order. My son was placed in foster-care after the CPS agent said my mother claimed she couldn't handle my son, which did not happen, she asked for some advice from the worker. He was beaten, starved, and raped violently for over 9 months on a daily basis. I sued and won. He was then placed with my ex-mother-in-law for third party placement. Despite my other children they did not feel I could handle him. After 6 years and his psychological and physical  abuse by his own grandmother she gave up beating his opinion and defiance out of him and sent him to live with me in January. After my experince and seeing the way CPS treats the other agencies they work with and the decent foster parents that disagree with them removing a child for no reason or that a child should go home and they ruin social workers careers, run psychologists out of town, and pay off others I will never call CPS on another person. If a child is in danger call the police, call the sheriffs department. They will protect the child and do what is in the childs best interest, not CPS.

[weirdjojo]

Mar. 17, 2010 at 4:10 AM

Yes CPS drops the ball thats why if you do call CPS, you have to follow them and call the Omsbudsman constantly to get them to do anything. The Omsbudsman is an agency that is supposed to make sure CPS does its job.