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Secret teenage sex texts. "Should we do more next time?" PART 2 of ' Uh-oh..."The Talk" Mom to Son'
- Mar 17, 2010 at 3:41 PM
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- Comments (21) Total Views (933) Everyone can see this journal post.
I got a phone call from my son's 'girfriend's' mom the other night. She intercepted a text message between them. Gabby had been erasing her messages as soon as she read them, so her mom didn't know what she said.
This family is really nice.
Gabby and Andrew have been close friends since meeting at the beginning of 7th grade. Her mom worked at the Jr. High teaching a class for special needs kids. So, she was around often enough and she really likes Andrew. She is especially happy in the trust she has for him and the way he treats her daughter.
At the end of that year, Gabby's parents split up and her mom took her and her two younger siblings down to Vancouver. His heart was broken. This is a 2 1/2 hour drive.
From the beginning, Gabby's mom, Julia, has made it very clear that her daughter will not officially date or go out with a boy until she is 16. They are very strict and very Christian.
Julia is really cool. I'm Pagan and we have had many wonderful conversations sharing our faiths together. I consider her my friend.
What she told me about the text, was that it was from Andrew to Gabby. She read, "Well, maybe next time we see eachother, we can do more."
So, Julia sent a text back to Andrew telling him how disappointed she was in him not respecting Gabby's boundaries. They are still too young."
Andrew turned 15 last month. Gabby will be 15 next month. So, they can't officially be 'going out' for another year. They essentially have been doing this though. Most of it long-distance. They have been true to and care about eachother very very much. We all see it. So we, as in both sets of parents', instead of forbidding a friendship where hearts can be broken, we have hovered a bit, trying to kind of help etiquette along the way.
Andrew and I have a pretty good relationship, as far as the mom/son thing goes. I had had "The talk" with him already because his dad was out to sea and an incident happened in which the post-ponement of the 'talk' could not happen. Now THAT was something else. It happened about a year and a half ago. (Seriously, you should read this.)
I pick him up from Jazz band a couple hours later and asked him about the text. He said "Mom, I really wanted to tell you, but I didn't know how and I was confused." I told him what Julia had told me. Andrew turned really quickly in the seat. I had the tennis match thing going looking from him to the road. With this look of surprise on his face, he said, "But Mom, we were only talking about kissing. I have only kissed her one time in two and a half years. We weren't talking about sex. Does Julia really think that?"
"Yes." I told him.
He slumped back into the seat and said "What am I going to do? How do I fix this? I would never ever disrespect Gabby because I......." Andrew's eyes buggered out as he realised he almost said something and he knew I knew what he was going to say.
"I believe you." I said. "I'll call Julia."
His eyes were welling, however he refused to let anything fall.
I said to him "You know, I think this would be best if we went down there and you told Julia everything you told me. I'll talk to her myself, but I think it would be respectful and mean more to her if we drove all the way down there so you could explain and apologize in person."
"Do we have to?"
"Yes and...you'd get to see Gabby." I grinned. "It will work out."
We had already gotten home and had been sitting in the driveway because his younger brother was inside. As we were getting out of the car, I told him he should write down everything he's thinking. Whether or not they were a few words or entire sentences. He should put on paper how he feels so he can go back over it and make some sense out of it.
"Aren't you mad at me?"
"No. I just wished you would have told me yourself instead of having to hear it from her mom."
"I'm sorry." His head hanging down. "I know I can talk to you. I need to remember that."
We walked in the house. It is at that moment I realized 'Shit, I didn't take anything out for dinner!'
Comments:
You're a good mom, Jo. A. Damned. Good. Mom!
I agree with Brenda. Totally awesome mom!
I've been wondering about them lately! They are so sweet.
I love your final thoughts on the matter. LOL
Awesome mom.. that you are!
Ah, young love. I think they're beautiful together, and I hope Gabby's mom relaxes a tad. Let us know how it goes!
Love you. =0)
You sound like a great Mom! And...HE sounds like a great kid!!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A GREAT MOM! you seem so easy to talk to! wow...i need to take a page from your book...i'm really in awe right now...awesome awesome job...especially with the 1st post....hi 5!!
I agree with everyone else, you are a awesome mom and andrew is a great kid. when I read this I didnt know which son it was going to be about and almost got scared since Alex and mickey are kinda "going out" and alex always wants to text mickey on my phone! You are a wonderful mom and thanks for sharing
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