-
The New Therapist Just Verified That I'm Not Abusive!!!
- Mar 18, 2010 at 7:05 PM
- By
- Comments (6) Total Views (111) Everyone can see this journal post.
I just got off the phone with my daughter's therapist and there is no validity to my ex's allegations regarding me being abusive to my daughter. There is no validity to the previous Dr (the dr that's married to the judge) that wrote a brutal statement to recommend supervised visits bc I'm abusing my child. I am overwhelmed with SO many feelings. Why can't they lift it to unsupervised already! and then I start to feel exited bc my ex will NEVER be able to turn her away from me. Our bond is unbreakeable and impenetrable. She misses her mama terribly and it's showing in therapy. I stopped seeing for monetary reasons, but also to show that she needed me. (Unfortunately, if it isn't recorded and documented by the right people, it isn't evidence) I'm saddened at her pain in going through this in his attempt to isolate her from me and my family. The therapist asked for me to resume visits as soon as possible and to send Sophia a letter to her to HER office BECAUSE SOPHIA NEEDS HER MAMA!!!! (HA!!! YOU LOSE A~~HOLE!!!!!! I've refrained from doing things like that bc I didn't want to violate the restraining order. HA! I have SO many letters I've saved. So, I'm going start sending them in!!! OMG I miss Sophia so much. I feel like I'm winning bc there are times where the court is totally biased and in this case people are seeing my ex for what he is yet all this stupid system is a process that moves slwoer than molasses!!! The best part is this therapist is HELPING my daughter progress instead of regressing like to other dr did. She isn't separating us but trying to go at my daughters' pace and still move forward. I'm so bitter at the other dr. She sided herself with my ex and harmed my daughter and intentionally split us up when I threatened to report her to the board of ethics. Her statements were based on HIS statements and HIS perspective of events that took place. When is an abuser EVER going to be honest?! NEVER- and they ALWAYS say things to make themselves look good adn to discredit the mom. I was so scared when I fought with my ex tooth and nail to put her in a different therapists' office. The outcome was devastating but you know what now that she's getting better, it was WORTH all the pain. AND I was right- he was wrong. He thinks he has money and knows everything and that I don't know crap about what's best for my baby if it wasn't his idea to begin with!
Comments:
Lol dwinkie72 you're so funny. But you are absolutely right. I mean seriously, do they really think they are just gonna come out and say "I'm sorry I just said a terrible lie. I only did this for my own benefit and yes, I am a completely different person that what you are seeing right now."... I mean seriously! LOL.
my proof came out in the end. my ex was awarded temporary custody because i was on bedrest the last trimester of my pregnancy <stress due to my ex caused serious complications>. the custody battle ended with my ex going to prison for selling heroin.
but the courts had the audacity to tell me this...in america you are INNOCENT until proven guilty. he may have sold heroin to an undercover TWICE. he still is considered innocent. now mind you, he was on probation already. when they arrested him for the heroin charge they revoked his probation and wasn't allowed bail.
lol but we are the ones that need to show proof?
wow... I cringe sometimes when I tell people my story and then there's that vibe "Well you must have done something major if you lost your child." It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one caught up in a corrupted/flawed system. All I know is that he won't be able to do this again. He can but it would risk his credibility. He can take me to court all he wants and he will never be able to keep Sophia from me because we have an expert that says Sophia NEEDS me. That was his main goal. He promised that I would never see her again if I ever left him. I look back at how he isolated me from my family and it makes sense as to why he'd do the same thing with Sophia. I wish we were ready for the next step in court battle already. But I'm trying to be patient bc it needs to be done right. I'll GET that proof. Eventually (as everyone keeps telling me) it will come out.
It will come out. I was fortunate that my daughter was older than yours when she finally went to go live with her father. Its heartbreaking yes, but remember at this time she is a little girl and she is probably very much confused and scared. She will grow up and start to have a mind of her own and that right there will be his downfall it was my ex's. Kids are not stupid, maybe slow due to lack of experience, but that will change as she gets older. Something that helped me in the end and might help you is that i did go through a court appointed mental health evaluation. I knew i was a sane and a healthy person for my child to be around, trying to prove that however was a problem. I do not know about you, but it seemed my ex could always find someone to talk bad about me, but I could never find anyone willing to talk good about me even thought they were there. I was always being told that they did not want to get in the middle of things between him and I. I would get so frustrated because people that would talk bad and could find fault with the Virgin Mother were always willing to talk in court for him. The people who knew me always told me to just let it be that he wasnt going to take it any farther. When they finally realized that he wasnt going to stop they were willing to finally stand up for me in court, but the damage had already been done. It took my court ordered psyche eval to finally prove that I was fit to be a mother. You should have seen my exs face when the evaluation was read in court. He actually had the audacity to try and tell the judge that i had the evaluator fooled and that the evaluator did not know how to evaluate someone who was manipulative like me. He also did that with the custody evaluator, CPS Investigators, a judge, his lawyer, my lawyer, every psychologist/psychiatrist/therapist he dragged my daughter to.(I have a file dedicated to just his complaints to licenseing boards and other various oversight entities) According to him he was the only one that was right and that everyone else was just falling for my games...LOL. However, to finally get that perponderance of evidence it took years.
My daughter is now starting to speak up. Though it was hard to be separated for 6 months from lack of fundings... it seems to have really benefit her. She's really starting to develop her own opinion and she's only 6. I see a fire in her eyes and she herself is determined to fight in her own way to hang on to me. Something changed in her and she's found her inner courage to know her dad is a liar. Its hard to see her still loving her dad and yet is confused by his behavior, but all that will come out. I am pregnant and have gone on to build a wonderful life and my ex is opposing that her and my unborn baby be together. The GAL has dedcided to take on the case and extend it because of that. He's so busy isolating her that he's trying to say the baby is a danger to her. lol. Eventhough he destroyed my life and has my daughter, I've found that I'll be well no matter what and that he can never sever the bond between us. It's interesting, he started all this and now the cost is hurting him. If there's anything that he cares most about, it's money. I know now that he's struggling and in he's only hurting himself more than me and sophia. It really is amazing to see the truth trickle out... so see I didn't need revenge because in the end he'll get his due.
Already a member? Click here to log in
Give & Get Advice
-
If you're a little (or a lot!) stressed, you'll appreciate these easy tips for sneaking a little relaxation into your day.
-
Want tips on how to give your home a refreshing new look for summer? Sign up here and learn how to update your space for the season.
-
Do you feel like you're always saying "No" to your kids? Maybe it's time to have a "Yes" day instead.
unfortunately, i experienced something very similar to what you are gong thru. it seriously baffles me how the courts can take a man's word as whole truth. but if i had said anything in contrary i was asked where was my proof. proof? now you're asking for proof? my ex could spill his dribble without an ounce of proof but you're asking me for my proof? lol god, dont get me started.
good luck hun and congrats!
- dwinkie72
Message Friend Invite