Scared Silly about a Second Unassisted Birth??

[SillyJessi]

"Overwhelmingly nervous about second unassisted birth"

 

"I'm planning a second unassisted birth, and for some reason I'm scared - unlike my first, during which I felt totally empowered"

 

"I'm worried I can't bottle lighting twice"

 

"What if I really just got lucky the first time, and this is when it goes gnarly?"

"I know one in three babies is born via Cesarean Section.  Well, I've had two babies vaginally..."

 

 

I am expecting Dear Baby 3. This will be my second unassisted pregnancy and childbirth ("UP" and "UC"), and I echo the sentiments of other mothers planning a second unassisted birth - DID I just "get lucky"???

When I had my First Son, it was a hospital train wreck, it did end with a Vaginal birth, but I was severely robbed. 

Second Son was very realistic unassisted birth, it wasn't a total fantasy perfect, but it was a nice, functional, sturdy and efficient labor and birth.

So I've been catching myself on the "what if..." train of thought with this pregnancy. And over the weeks, I've been trying to snap out of it, consciously monitor my thoughts, and go "HEY, the same exact scenario applies with this baby as it did with my second, and even my first: I am the mama, you are the baby, and together we are the only two who know EXACTLY how to let you come out right." I'm aware of the subtle undermining of my confidence over the last 2 years since my UC. Congrats were thinly masked freak-outs that I actually *did* that. But, just as I knew the moment we were laying in the bed, me beaming saying WE DID IT!, I know we weren't "lucky." I know we "did it" because it was the right way for us to do it. And once again, I've come to peace with the realization that no matter what happens, I will handle it right, and the best outcome possible for the situation at hand will be realized.

I will keep watching this post, and others like it, because it's interesting to see the growth in myself playing out simultaneously across the lives of others...

[LokisMama]

Mar. 20, 2010 at 9:16 AM

I wish it were otherwise, but it seems that anything other than a hospital birth with fully trained OR staff is grounds for a freak out.  Even my fully planned homebirth moniterd by a midwife was met with "OMG, I can't believe you did that!"  It's almost discouraging that home births and unassisted births arn't more accepted. 

[SillyJessi]

Mar. 20, 2010 at 1:11 PM

Thanks for your input.  I had almost forgotten that midwife-attended homebirths, are also seen as "dangerous" and good outcomes as "luck."

Sigh.

Maybe one day we'll be the norm instead of daredevils or heroines.

(Original Poster)

[oogiesmommy]

Mar. 24, 2010 at 2:03 AM

HOw much does this cost to have a home birth? I had a hospital birth with my daughter..and I too felt completely robbed. Due to a financial strain, I have medicaid with my second and am unsure as to whether or not i will be able to recieve a home birth or water birth.

[oogiesmommy]

Mar. 24, 2010 at 2:04 AM

most likely because i'm about to pop it will be another hospital birth, but i have a better doctor this time and I also made a birth plan..so we'll see. i would love to have a home birth though