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I Am A Toddler
- Mar 20, 2010 at 11:38 PM
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- Comments (22) Total Views (523) Everyone can see this journal post.
I AM A TODDLER
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest.
It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush (or most anything else), it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk on it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, I must not sit in it, I must protest with arched back.
If it is Mommy, it must be hugged.
I am a toddler!
Comments:
Aww makes me miss my teens being toddlers.
If it is clean, it must be dirtied... if it is in, I must take it out (and then make it so mommy has to wash again)... if it (dog, other child) is getting attention from mommy, I must scream and hit until I get her all to myself (after all, she is MY mommy)...
At least, this is how it goes in our household.
This is my life right now, word for word :) Love it!
Did you borrow my child recently? My husband and I laughed our way through this one. So very very two year old, lol.
CUTE, CUTE
Very cute!
Oh my goodness! My toddler just got into this stage!
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