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Self-Awareness
- Mar 21, 2010 at 10:19 AM
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- Comments (15) Total Views (637) Everyone can see this journal post.
Self-Awareness... it can mean so very many things. Whatever it means to you at any given time, however, having a LACK of it is never a good thing.
We'll take the immediate connection: breast cancer and the self exams we should all be doing every month. I have a history of breast cancer in my family, and I should never, ever, ever miss the opportunity to do a BSE (breast self exam). Sometimes, though, I find myself in the shower all soaped up, one arm hooked over my head, and the spiral pattern of a typical BSE dancing in my mind... and I just don't want to go any further. Most times, I force myself to continue. Sometimes, I don't. I look the other way.
Or, how about this one: parenting and the consistent discipline we should be administering to our children. I have two boys, Alex and Zack. They are 8 and 5, respectively. Most times, I am so glad that they have one another. Other times, I don't know what I wish, but it sure as hell ain't glad about anything regarding their behavior towards one another! Anyhow, when they go at it, and boy-howdy can they go at it sometimes, I try to be aware enough about my role as their Mother to know that the discipline needs to be swift, direct, appropriate, and always laced with love. Most times, when I hear them whining and yelling and doing that thing that they do, I intervene immediately and hand out Mom Justice as if I were Judge Judy. Sometimes, I don't. Sometimes, I close my eyes and shake my head and let the right moment slip right by me. I look the other way.
The next connection to self-awareness that comes to me is: our habits. It could be smoking, drinking, over-eating, under-eating... you can choose your own bad habit; most of us have at least one. Personally, I smoke. I am aware that I should not. I am aware that smoking increases my already increased risk of developing cancer. I am aware that it would devastate my children, my husband, my entire family, if I developed cancer. I know that it makes my breath stink, and my face will look older than I really am, and they are expensive, and I know all of the reasons I should not smoke. Yet I still do. I look the other way.
Why do I do this? I'm sure I'm not the only one who chooses to look the other way and ignore my self-awareness when I should make the right choice, the hard choice at times, but still the right choice. Is it because I'm scared that I will find a lump? Is it because I'm afraid that my parenting techniques are wrong and that my children will resent me? Is it because I'm worried that I am one of those people who will just find another vice to fill the smoking if I quit; a more dangerous one? I don't know. Maybe yes, maybe no.
I do know this, though. If I keep looking the other way consistently, it will become easier and easier until eventually, I don't have to pay attention at all. Until, maybe, it's too late. Until, maybe, I find a lump that has been there for just long enough to make its way to my lymph nodes. Until maybe my children don't respect me. Until maybe I develop emphysema.
OR. I could start focusing on the things I know I need to focus on. NOW. Right now.
Comments:
It's not funny, Bec. Not even in that semi ironic way you meant it. =0) Self awareness is hard, and I have great respect for those who are aware, even if they don't always act on it.
I've found that the majority of people don't care to be introspective in any way. And it shows.
Very inspirational, Mandy! My vice is self-medicating with food/overeating. So now I'm on WW, and I'm struggling, but I'm doing it. *sigh*
I'm going to bookmark this for future re-reading...
Thank you for reminding me that I ned to feel myself up to look for lumps! Last Wednesday, one of my Cm friends underwent a double mastectomy to prevent breast cancer. I don't ever want to have to be put in that place, even though she's getting a swell new pair with perky nips thanks to reconstructive surgery.
But I did quit smoking. *shines halo*
This is a good "kick-in-the-ass." Something I really needed =)
So very true! Good Luck!!
You hit the nail on the head Mandy. It is fear. That is why we consistently look the other way.
MandyPants, what are you, crawling around in my head these days, or what?
*sigh* I really needed to "hear" this today. I really did. Thank you for putting it so eloquently.
i needed to read this today.
thank you :)
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Yes, it is funny how often people preach at others when they need to take a moment and become more self aware.
- Rebeccalynn_dj
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