It's all a lie

[Xantho]

I do so much for my daughter (technically step), so much.  Her BM is in the picture and has been back for a year now, and in that year we've had one hell of a ride.  DH and his ex do not get along and so I stepped up and became middle man...

I am totally regretting that now.  The stress is building up.  I'm starting to resent my husband, I'm resenting our daughter, and I'm also resenting ever thinking I was strong enough to handle being a step parent.

Her BM is not that great at parenting...she leaves her unattended, she has no rules at all and is making DD feel as if she has 2 personalities...we're going to therapy for this in a week...she parties all the time, lies to my face, lies in front of DD, trash talks DH and I in front of DD and yet she thinks we are not teaching her any values.

It's really hard to teach a kiddo values when the other parent figure does not back any of them up!

I feel as though I'm trapped...I don't want to be apart of this any longer...but this is my family and I"m not leaving I just wish she would.  She only wants to be a mom for the rewards of having a beautiful litte girl, she wants none of the responsibility!

People tell me what a great job I'm doing with DD and how lucky she is to have me.  They don't know the truth.  I yell, I'm angry a lot, I'm very short tempered...she may be lucky because I honestly do care and I take full responsibilty for this little girl but she doesn't see that.  And I realize that "one day" she'll realize all the things I've done and none of the things BM has done.  When exactly is that day?

DD rather be with her because she gets away with EVERYTHING and it just hurts because I feel used...I'm here picking up pieces and trying to build up a spirit that was tore down because of BM yet I get no thanks, I just get "When do I get to go to my moms" maybe I'm being selfish...I don't know...I just can't take any of this anymore.

[mcqueenmom2]

Mar. 28, 2010 at 3:05 PM

[mommy_carrillo]

Oct. 5, 2010 at 9:33 PM

I am  not sure if things have gotten better but first off the fact that you call her YOUR daughter and not your step daughter says a LOT. Every parent loses their temper and yells that doesn't make you a bad parent. And being a child of course they are going to want to live in a house where they can do what ever they want but in the long run they need rules and structure. I know it is hard my SD is the same way and it is causing a lot of problems with DH and I. Her BM ALWAYS wants things her way and since we have no money for court we have to "play nice" until we can take her to court for visitation then she will get slapped in the face. Being a step parent is hard but it takes a strong loving person to take on that role. Stay strong and remember that even though your DD may want to run free she will see that it was not what was best for her and thank you for that. The reward now is that YOU are there for her 24/7 and her BM is not. She will understand one day and be very thankful she has a mother like you. Good luck and keep up the great job!