a day in the life of a mother

[udamskipy]

Im tired, frazzled, exhausted, pushed to my limit which is further than any place you can find, worn down to an empty shell that barley reflects an image of what used to be a woman, but is now just a creature of habit that functions on caffeine and some slight spark of instinct, that comes purely out of being a mother. My children are fed, clean and warm, and my house is somewhat livable, so knowing this I can deflate, exhale, let go, and finally fall over from pure and utter exhaustion. As I soak my limp and worn out body, in a tub of bubbles and squeaky toys, I try and let go of all the anxiety that has built up through out the day, as I imagine myself lying on a beach somewhere in margaritaville with the sun on my face and absolutely nothing on my back, I indulge my senses and pretend that I do not hear the constant thump on the door, and the three little voices arguing about whether or not mommy needs their help. Nope, I do not hear a thing, nothing but the waves, crashes against the sandy beach, the sea gulls as they circle somewhere off in the distance, the far off cry of a four year old that just figured out that the door is locked. Just as fast as the water filled the tub, it goes down the drain, along with what I like to call my retreat, my staycation, my sanity. Yes, it may be something as simple as hot water and half a bottle of Mr. Bubble, but to me, it is the one thing in my crazy, never ending day, that is mine...mine all mine, even with screaming toddlers at the door, which is locked, and the distant phone ringing endlessly, the dogs barking because the kids are trying to panic, along with supper that still has to be fixed, and bedtime routines to be followed, all of this is still there, but not within my little reality. Not then, when nothing else exists but my sanity and Mr. Bubbles. Then, as quickly as it came, it's gone, and the door is unlocked to a flood of little arms that franticly search for mommy's neck to hug, because it has been soooo long since we have seen her. She's been in that locked room for a whole twenty minutes! and that is more than enough time to cause a preschooler's panic buttom to hit overload! But, all is right in the world now, mommy is here and our day can end just as it did yesterday and as it will tomorrow, with our teeth brushed and a bedtime story that doesnt last no where near long enough. And mommy will get everyone tucked in, and turn off all the lights, except for the hallway of course, and by the time all is settled and done, I will barely find the energy to crawl to the head of the bed, and when my body finally meets the sheets, it is a welcomed sigh of relief, that is realized just before I pass out from exhaustion, only to be woke up in about three hours because someone needs a drink of water, or a nightmare has cause a terrible feeling of one's own bed, so badly that sleep can only be resumed when mommy's arms has tucked them into mommy' bed. And mommy falls back to sleep as well, only to wake in a few hours and start it all over again! OH, what a lavish life I lead, how blessed I am, and I am thankful that I am a mother.

RL