My Next Big Step

[harristamia]

Tomorrow I will be taking a big step to getting better, I'll be attending an rape/molestation group. I'm a little nervous but I know meeting other women that can relate to what I've been through. This step is very big because it will help me to deal with the issues that I have. Right now the changes that I see in myself are little, I started accepting some things about my past and have come to terms with the past and now I'm trying to improve the things that I can change and trying to have the power to come to terms with the things I can not change. The first thing I want to change is my opinion about myself and become more confident about my body. I'm going to start incorporating running in the mornings again.

I wrote him today, I know I told myself to stop thinking about him. I can't especially because he is in Iraq, I can't help but think it was because of me. He jumped on the plane soon after we stopped talking and I'm concerned with his safety. No matter what I still love him and deep down I know he still cares about me. I hope so.

Overall today was a good day. I smiled for the first time in a long time. I mean actually smiled. Now I have a positive outlook on the future. I haven't made any new friends yet, and the place where I received my GED hasn't called me back. But I'm still trying. Keep on praying for me as each day I grow stronger.