from 17-27 years old:
I did unmentionable, unspeakable things to my self and others. lied, cheated, stole, used drugs, profnit wa highly romiscouos, hated yself my life and everyone around me, suffered from severe depression, rage, was physically and vrbaly abused and abusive, went thru a gothic  phase and had porcelain fangs made specially fro my teeth, worshipped my slf, ha no regard for others or their feelings, placed a child up for adoption, was diagnosed wit bipolar and was prescribed litihum, sufered om lonlines, overeating, extreme fatigue and laziness,  insecurities, seld doubt, remorse, guilt shame, sex, drugs and rock and roll was my motto (sad)
I knew when i was 23 in 2003 but sadly i didnt know/wasnt taught how to/ wat it mant o recieve Christ or Salvation so i went back to darkeness it was all i knew
but then years later after my sweet 11 month old gift from GOD was diagnosed with cancer I knew that i would either surrender my heart, mind and soul to Jesus or someone would pay the high price. you see 2 years before she was born i tried to concieve but wasnt able to so knowing tat GOD El-Shaddai is the Master of masters all powerful and giver i made a vow to HIM I said out oud in y desperation GOD if you give me a child I will surrender  and commit to you and teach that child all about you  -Ecclesiastes 5:4-5
well he blessed me with an angel but for 11 months of her life i did not exctly surrender or commit to GOD. HE kept HIS part of the covenant but i had not.
so after 6 months of weekly iv chemo a right kidney removal, me gaining 70 lbs and some much needed growing up I was so greatful that se was alive and healthy again that I have surrendered and commited my life to HIM eversince and our lives have definitly changed for the best. I have been transformed fro the inside out
I always knew only  ABBA ADONAI  our ALMIGHTY POWERFUL LOVING Father in Heaven could truly  heal her. sure Dr.s an chemo can help but ultimately it was only the Doctor of Doctors, the Healer of Healers, the mercifull God of grace and compassion, generosty and True LOVE could heal her.
---at first i wasn't sure exactly what to do but i knew that it was a good idea to read BIBLE everyday so i started with 5 minutes in Psalms a couple days later a Proverb a day
---I simply started talking to JESUS I know HE is everpresent so I acknowledged HIM and said: "Jesus i dont kow what i am supposed to do HELP ME" soon after i felt a strong need to go to a small weekly Bible study
---I started talking and asking  (AKA praying) HIM about everything, i asked HIM what clothes i should wear bc HE knows the eather, i aske HIM which soap to buy I still do HE is my best friend HE's perfect, blameless, faithful, cannot lie
---when I needed to hear from HIM i opened my BIBLE in the middle of te day at work at starbucks, everywhere to te firt pg i d just read it and a sense of calm will still come over me
i am at peace I live with joy, love, abudunce. relationships with family memebers are way better, today bc of CHRIST I value my self I am proud of who i am becoming, i have goals, enjoy life, i enjoy fellowship and actually have friends, i love encouraging others, I have a compassionate and giving heart, i have patience and self control, i now i am loved, forgiven, saved, part of Divine Royalty,  new in CHRST, I appreciate life, others, everyting GOD, JESUS , THE HOLY SPIRIT and THE BIBLE. GALATIANS 5, COLOSSIANS 3
HE has delivered me from  everything negative, vile,  & hateful thing i mentioned above.
I have received my Salvation by accepting  Jesus Christ as my personal Lord & Saviour which is couple by having a daily one on one relationship and communication with Yeshua through prayer and Bible reading (devotional time).Then I was Baptized by water to show my commitment in walking in a new life with Christ then I was Baptized with the Holy Spirit by Jesus to guide my everyday decisions and life after that I asked our Heavenly Almighty Adonai YHWH Sabaoth, to teach me  a unique personal prayer language that is directly between HIS Spirit that lives inside me & EL-Shaddai HIMSELF and HE has taught me so. may HOLY ABBA ELOI's will be done through me.

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