NEED help he messed up and now wants to move on

[JayCripps]

My now fiance and i have been together for over a year... i thought things were great between us.. but i found out from his exgirlfriend that they were sleeping togther for over 5 months and he never said anything to me. When i first confronted him he lied to me about the whole thing for a few weeks and finally i got smart an figuered out hwo to get the truth out of him.

Now he wants me to forget it happened and for us to move on. We are having baby in septmeber... and he wants the whole family and baby and everything... But i can not get past the fact that he lied. He would sleep with her while i was at work then come to my bed and i never knew what was going on.
So now he is telling me he is sorry and he loves me but i dont know what to think... I dont trust him right now and dont know how to get past this right now either. When he kisses me and tells nme he loves me all i can think of is how can you when you lied to me for 5 to 6 months...He knew i was pregnate and still slept with her...

Now back in oct/nov we had a miscarriage and according to his ex that is about the time they started sleeping together actually she said beginning of Oct.. which was before the miscarriage.. so how do i forgive him and move on. I can not just forgive and forget..

Everyone is telling me to dump him to move on but i do love him and i dont want him to be a weekend dad.. i dotn want to be a single mom again and not know thier father... i want to get married and to have the family and everything but i am having a really hard time moving on from this.

SO what advice does anyone have??

(thanks jenn for letting me blog on your name i hope someone can give me good advice)

[acrogodess]

Apr. 22, 2010 at 1:18 PM

I don't know what to tell you since I've put with plenty of drama from my ex over the past 11 years. Now that the kids are bigger is when we've settled down. We were very young when we met and only 20/21 when we had our first child and 22/23 when we had our second. If you feel that you love him and that you can indeed make things work, listen to your heart. Sure, it won't be easy to learn to trust him again, but if it's worth it, you will. If you really think you won't ever get past it, then move on. He can be a part of your child's life without being your husband.

[momofne]

Apr. 23, 2010 at 6:31 AM

Hey Jenn. Sorry you have to deal with this. Well If they started messing around oct. that means he's really only been with you exclusively  for a month since. To me that way to short for someone to prove themselves trust worthy again. I really think he should be a part of the babies life and he may be truly sorry but I would suggest alot of couples counseling before you really decide what to do and or he is worth it.