After wallowing in my own pity for a while, I'm over it and ready to get going with this weight loss plan. A got a bit of insight from my new *thin* friend (lol) about how even those who are at their goal weight still work out - to maintain that weight. That was a relief to me in a way, because I would love to get to a point where I'm happy to just "maintain". I joined (re-joined) Weight Watchers again. I went there in 2006 and lost some weight, then had some major marital issues and ended up "postponing" it - until now. I may or may not attend the meetings, but I bought the points calculator and plan to keep up with those. I've decided not to follow any one particular "diet" because when I "break the rules" I get frustrated and generally slack off. So I've made my own lifestyle changes that I'm hoping I can stick to. They're going to start off sort of easy, and once I get used to those, I may try some more difficult challenges.

For now, my plan is to:

- count my points
- continue taking my SlimQuick (the only thing that's worked in the past)
- use Special K and skim milk as my backup snack (very low calories)
- go for daily walks with the new puppy and work up to jogging
- and to just be happy in my own skin

I'm a thin person, on the inside. And now it is time for me to pull that person out. I can get down to my goal weight. I have clothes from all stages of my weight gain. I am currently at the stage where I have *too small* and *too big* clothes. So I'm still overweight, but less than before. I still have high school clothes. I'm doubtful that I'll fit into those again, but I'm keeping them *just in case*. Not to toot my own horn, but I looked good in them, and if they fit again, I'll be flaunting it - they will be my trophy.

My anniversary is coming up on the 2nd. It will be 7 years. I weighed maybe 10 pounds less than I currently do (and still 40 pounds more than when DH and I met). I'm 201.6 today. I was roughly 145 in high school, and apparently 130 is the ideal for my height (5' 5"). According to weight watchers, my first goal is 10 pounds. I can do that. I'm planning on getting that done in the next 2-3 weeks, tops. The next goal is another 10 pounds. My son's 8th birthday is June 7th, and I'm hoping to knock off that second goal by then. That would take me to 180 lbs. My "goal" weight right now, from where I currently am is 175. I don't want to push it and say 100lbs or something crazy. Once I get to 175, I can re-evaluate things and set a new goal. But for now, 175 is what I'm aiming for. I was 175 before, and looked pretty good.

I learned at Weight Watchers, a very simple fact, that I really knew all along. I just needed someone to say it out loud. When you screw up for the day, it's not the end of the world. Optimism turns failures into lessons. I can learn from what screwed me up, and make up for it. Instead of getting frustrated, I can just work it off the next day. That's why I like the points thing. If I go over my points, instead of beating myself up over it, I can "earn" more points by working out or doing extra activities.

So that's it. Those are my goals. I think I might start writing a journal post once a week, or every so often. With everything going on in life, it's easy to let the world fly past you, and hard to find the time to just sit down and think. Writing helps me get my thoughts straight, and so I think I will add this to my list of life-changing techniques.

Today is a new day.

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