Tonight my DF, Tony, and I had our first semi real fight. The main issues at hand were our financial issues and our upcoming wedding. Other things brought up were job hunting, moving, school for the both of us, and our families.

Financial issues could be a whole other post in itself..but the short story is that Tony let a so-called "friend" be authorized users on a couple credit cards that he had already established. The "friend" maxed out all the cards, refused to pay for a while and then handed over all the late bills and let the bill collectors call and hound us. To the tune of roughly $25,000. There could still be more that hasn't surfaced yet.

On top of that, Tony's grandmother had already taken a home equity loan to help Tony pay off his 2 personal credit cards of around $15,000. Most of what was on his personal cards were cost of books for his classes, gas, and food for when he drives down to Northern Kentucky for class.

Most of all of the above I knew about before we found out that Drake was going to arrive. What we didn't expect was to find another bill from the "friend" for a total amount of 3,000, AND a car repair bill for almost 900, which I have no idea what in the world was all wrong with his car.

Now on to the wedding. We orginally thought that we would spend roughly 10,000 for everything which in Cincinnati, Ohio it's very achievable. So we started looking around at places and for the time of year we were wanting, we found out we'd be spending way more than what we had anticipated for the reception site and decor. Now before anyone says anything we both agreed that we absolutely DID NOT want a JOP Courthouse wedding. Even though our friends had suggested it/tried to force the idea on us saying that a wedding is a waste of time to just get a piece of paper. We both agrued that to us, it wasn't just a piece of paper and that we wanted more.

So I started to look around and do some research and came up with the idea of having a destintation wedding here in the US and go to Gatlinburg, TN and have a Mountain wedding. Our orginal date was November 13th, but with going with Gatlinburg we agreed to move the date up to September 17th. We found a chapel that we loved and a package that didn't seem to be too outrageous. It's called Chapel at The Park. Its not what I had in mind for my wedding but its pretty close to it. The date and time is set and the deposit has been made. We made those decisions back in January knowing that for roughly $100 a month thru July the Chapel and what all is included will be paid in full a month early. Well its now mid-May and no payments have been made thanks the unexpected car repair bill. We also argued over small details like the shade of red for the invitations which is what started all of this.All because I said I wanted everything to match and not have 2 shades of the same color that would clash against one another. So now its either find someone in my family who would be willing to foot the bill or cancel the wedding until further notice. UGH!!!!!!!

Oh! And I'm sick and tired of being told by my grandmother that I should accept the fact that I will never have the wedding I fully deserve all becaue I chose to have Drake before Tony and I are married. And I'm sick and tired of her belittling me with the comments she "doesn't" make and when you say something about them, you don't know what the hell your talking about and that you're accusing her of things she never said.

As for moving, job hunting, and school....For a while now we have been talking about moving. We had been looking around in the area we are in now, in Ohio and have found that everything in the ares we would need to be in were way over our price range in regards to either a house or an apartment. However, we started thinking about moving back to where my mom is in Indianapolis and found out that there are a few nice paying/ hourly job openings. My grandparents, who we are curently living with are ok with it but I know that they are super attached to us living with them and having Drake around to spoil.

Tony is almost done with school he has after this month only 3 more months to go before he graduates with his Associates in Computer Aided Design (CAD). Thankfully he'll be able to transfer to Indianapolis after his June class which will be his Externship, and then have just 2 general education classes to finish which one is a keyboarding class and the other is an effective speaking course.

As for me, if I decide in the next day or two to go back to school, I won't start until mid-October for Cullinary school with a concentration for Pastries. I have always loved to cook/bake but I have never had the support to achieve going to school and getting a degree for it. My family has always shot it down because to them its not a geared towards a family friendly lifestyle. My mom is encouraging but its my grandparents who have the strong influence since they have been helping with my college years. Yes I know that they are probably thinking will I stick with it this time and not waste their time and money. But with just having an associates in pastry I have the opportunity to be able to go to school on Friday from 5pm to 10pm and on Saturday from 8am to 5pm, be a SAHM during the week and still be able to graduate in 20 months.  I see getting my associates in pastry's as an added income with a small side business and still be a working SAHM. But to my grandparents its not good enough/practical.

Thats all for now! Its 2am and I really need to get some sleep before Drake decides to wake up. Thanks soo much for letting me vent! I really needed this!


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May. 13, 2010 at 2:16 AM

Good Luck! Whatever you do...have YOUR wedding...the wedding YOU BOTH want...don't let anyone talk you out of doing that!

Maybe your DF should file bankruptcy? That would eliminate ALL debt.

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