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Do you take/have pictures of your dead relatives?
- May 14, 2010 at 4:17 PM
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My best friend called me this morning and asked if I am friends with Rhonda Blank from high school on FB. I told her that I was and knew what she was going to say. She then got loud and said "Did you see the pictures of her dead grandma in the casket?" I told her that I did and that I wouldn't have put it on FB. She said that she wouldn't have taken the picture at all. I told her that I had pictures of my dad in his casket and we have pictures of my grandma in hers. My grandma died before I was born. That was about 45 yrs ago. Amy told me that she has no pictures of her mom in her casket or anyone else and can't believe that people take pictures of dead people. I told her that it was very common and obviously common to Rhonda or she wouldn't have put those pictures up. It wasn't a big deal to me to see the pictures, but it was to Amy.
I asked this question on another forum and finding that most people feel this is a southern thing. That makes sense. My family grew up in TN/AL and we moved to MI when I was young.
I think most people understand taking pictures of a stillborn baby. Those are the only pictures you would have of your baby.
Comments:
My grandma had pictures of her father in his casket- and I always hated seeing it. I didn't take photos of my grandma or great-grandma in theirs- it just never crossed my mind.
A long time ago I went to the CM profile page of a woman that has a photo of her tiny baby as her background. (Must have been some game that took me to strangers profiles) Anyhow, The baby just didn't look quite 'right'....so I looked at her children info and saw that the LO was a stillborn. I started crying and it still upsets me year later. If my LO had been that close to term when I miscarried, I might have had a photo taken too. I just don't know.
I prefer seeing photos of my grannies alive and happy.
The only family member that I've lost that I was close to was my grandpa. I remember seeing him in his casket, but I couldn't imagine taking a picture of him. He looked nothing like he did when he was alive. They put make up on him to make him look like he did 10 years before (he was tan and much younger looking then). That was before he had gotten sick. I'd much rather remember him the last time I saw him than him in his casket. Maybe when my parents pass I might take pictures of them, but I would never post them on FB. (BTW, I'm from MT)
The only picture of a family member in a casket that I've ever seen was of my great grandma, my dad's grandma. I never knew her, she died in 1973 and I was born in 1988. The picture is a little haunting and slightly disturbing, but no more than with pictures of anyone else in a casket. My dad says he'd be glad if he never looked at that picture again. He said he hates it, and that he doesn't want to remember his grandma that way. My grandma has the picture in one of her photo albums.
I have pictures of my great grandmas who died earlier this year, but they're pictures of them when they were alive. I didn't go to their funerals because I've been having some serious emotional trauma lately, and I didn't think I could handle it. I don't want to remember them stone cold dead.
And it kills me when I see stillborn babies in pictures. It just tears me up inside, it makes me want to scream and rip my hair out. I feel so bad for the baby and the family.
I think pictures like that should be kept private. I dunno...it just bothers me to see dead babies.
Ya'll should look up memento mori. Creepy stuff there.
We do have pics like that someplace.
When my husband died we had a closed casket. My dad was busy snapping pictures at the graveside (which we held before the funeral/memorial). He took pictures of the casket and almost opened it until I reminded him that DH was not embalmed. At the time I thought that it was VERY odd. Now I am glad that we have them because our daughters were only 2 and 3 years old. They look at the pictures of when he was alive and with the casket and it is like revisting the closure all over again. I don't look at them because it isn't my thing, but I know that there are a lot of people that take comfort in them.
I have a picture of my Aunt in her casket, my dad took it and sent it to me. Only reason I even accepted it was because it was the only picture I have of her, and if it wasnt for her, I probably would have been continously molested/raped everyday until I or someone else had figured it out, so to me, she was my god's blessing, she saved me . and When she died, it tore me to a million pieces, im still lost without her . ='(
I didn't think people did that...I felt weird snapping a picture at the reception...
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As you said, I can understand wanting pictures of stillborn babies since it is the only picture you will have of them. However with other relatives, I prefer to remember them as they lived. It probably doesn't help that I don't deal with death well but I would still like to keep pictures of them living instead of dead.
- mamasitax2
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