It's my fault. That's what everyone says. All I make are excuses.

Here's the story.

I lost my job in november 2008 when i found out i was pregnant. I tried desperately to get another and cant. I lost my apartment and moved in with my mom. i started getting my license but failed my drivers test. I couldnt get a job in that town with no car so i met a boy and moved in with him i another town. we moved another time after i got my school tuition and taxes. I paid for the move. a week later he dumped me and became emotionally and verbally abusive. He ended up spending 2800 bucks of my money with the promise that even though we werent together he would keep helping me. So a month later he nearly drowned my dd, and became way more verbally abusive to me in an attempt to get me to leave. So i called everyone i could possibly think of and begged for places to stay. I ended up moving in with a half brother I don't know very well, who is way too much like my dad for my own good. He pulls the "It's my house" card on me a lot. My car is 3.5 hours away and my brother and SIL work third shift and cant take me to get my car (i have no license so it has to be both of them).

so it's time to start weening my dd off formula. I can't get her to eat baby food no matter how hard I try. If I let her cry for more than 20 minutes I get accused by my brother for being a bad parent. But to get her OFF HER BOTTLE I need to let her cry. So i'm SOL there.  Now they have reveresed my parenting. If i put my dd down on the floor during the day and she cries, i have to pick her back up or they'll yell at me for waking them up.

But this is all my fault.

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May. 19, 2010 at 9:03 PM

I"m sorry. Living with relatives is difficult sometimes. I hope things will change for you.

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May. 19, 2010 at 9:25 PM

Thanks. They will in january. m cutting back on classes to get excess tuition so i can get the heck out of here. but mainly im just pissed because since ive had a bad run of luck my life hasnt been going as i  planned (i didnt mention any of my health problems either) and so all of a sudden according to some people here on Cm it's my fault and I'm not doing anything but making excuses.

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May. 20, 2010 at 5:43 AM

hi sweetie

i am going to send you a friend invite - i hope you accept! i read all your journals and i think that you are doing the best you know how to do. you've had a bunch of bad luck, unsupportive family and friends and i feel your feeling of barely being able to come up for air before the next wave knocks you down! you are strong and determined and that surely will help!

did you ever get your car? where is it? i am in wi too, over by eau claire. good luck honey - and please, i know i am older and my kids are older but we do have other things in common. please accept my friend invite....ttys!

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May. 20, 2010 at 12:39 PM

I'm so sorry you're going through this. 

From your profile your daughter is 10 months...
Not sure what you mean by weaning your daughter from formula, but she still needs quite a bit for the next 2-3 months or so, and should be getting most of her nutrition from it.

You might find that she likes more soft chunky foods like bananas or crackers instead of purees.  Also remember that babies' bellies are small...2-3 crackers or a half a banana can fill up an infant, especially if they are having food and drink at the same time. 

If you hang out on here too much, you'll begin to believe that all children eat more than their parents and literally have a bottomless pit.  That's just not true.  Babies are meant to be grazers; little nibbles here & there.  This isn't meant to be judgemental -- I've just seen a lot of Moms forward misinformation about weaning & solid food transitions that it has become a sore spot for me...


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May. 20, 2010 at 5:15 PM

Squirrell -  Her doctor said i have to be transitioning her to more food and less formula, and get rid of the bottle and go to sippies. She has 2 teeth.

She hates baby food, but wic only pays for 24 cans of formula and 18 containers of that nasty baby food. And i cant afford to keep buying the other 26 cans of formula and food she eats. as it is i have to buy her all the extras like puffs and cruncies and teething things and whatnot. I only get 367 in food a month, which isnt a big deal, but her formula is 5 bucks a can and one can is 3 it adds up. I cant get wic to give her more formula so dr said give her more food. but she refuses to eat just about anything i give her. She likes chicken nuggets, fruit, and bread, other than she just doesnt want it. Unless its something she's too young for. But I can't get her to eat very much, and she still ants a bottle at all her naps, which everyone including her dr keeps yelling at me for but she wont drink her bottle anywhere else. And THATS what i was asking about in the room. And got yelled at for making excuses about everything.

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May. 20, 2010 at 8:31 PM

powdered formula you mix yourslef will go a much longer way than the pre-mixed...and theres nothing wrong with her being on a bottle as long as she does not sleep with formula or sip on it ALL day long...if nap time is the problem and she won't go to sleep with out it, start cutting down the amonut of formula you give in a NAP bottle (not ALL of her bottles...she still needs to have mostly formula!) until it is mainly just water..once she gets used to just water in her bottle at nap maybe try a sippie cup 1 or 2 time a day..

if she does not take to the sippie right away..give her time. it is NOT your doctors child..nor is it your brothers..and being on the bottle and using it to soothe herself after 1 year will NOT hurt her but since she has 2 teeth u can and should begin brushing them..which you can do with a soft clean washrag or a baby toothbrush..

also maybe she would like mashed bananas or sweet peas, carrots, sweet potatos,  regular mashed, or whatever your eating as long as u puree it well and dilute with some formula to thin it out ...they are VERY easy to make yourself and taste 10x better than the baby foods in the stores...have you ever tasted that stuff?! yuck! just try 1 new food for every couple of days..and try more than once cause sometimes it takes awhile!

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May. 20, 2010 at 8:51 PM

Actually, there is a reason she is on the concentrated formula. she cannot DIGEST the powered stuff. She gets extremely solid painful poo, her acid reflux is worse, and she spits up 3/4ths of her botle. we tried 4 brands and multiple kinds, nothing worked until they gave her good start CONCENTRATED formula. I have seen a dr for this, ad since wic pays for it, i obviously have a drs note.

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May. 21, 2010 at 12:20 AM

Instead of trying a regular sippy cup, try one that has a straw. It is closer to a bottle then a sippy top.

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May. 21, 2010 at 2:24 AM

If the baby formula is the same brand, then she should be able to digest it. The can formula is very expensive. My son had pains as well when he was an infant and I switched him to a soy formula. Worked great for him. When he was older I mixed the formula with milk to transition him.

Good luck getting back on track.  I'm sure you will do great.

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May. 21, 2010 at 12:54 PM

Okay people. Unless you are my daughters docto, stop trying to tell me to switch back to the POWDERED formula. she THROWS IT UP. i mean bile and everything. over half the bottle. and gives her hard painful poo that she screams when it happens, ON THE CONCENTRATE she doesnt even spit up, and her poo is normal. The point of this journal was not to tell me I'm feeding my daughter the more expensive formula on purpose If i COULD FEED HER the cheap shit, I would.

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