Fear Free Parenting?

[Txunicornlvr28]

I have three children who i love very much. back in the days before true salvation i was a weekend(sometimes weekday) drunk who just didsnt want to have kids or the responsiblity the kids brought to me. well im at what i am hopping on the lord for the end of a two year coustody battle. as my court dateon monday fastly aproches and im here trusting in the lord to send them home, i know he will even if its not on monday, im doing some soul serching, or rather asking the lord to serch mine so i can know what i must deal with to be rerady and worthy to have the care of my children back on monday and this is what i have come up with. FEAR, it hasnt been not wantting my children, itss been the fear of having them. i ened up pregnate when not rerady, and my own role modles, my parents taught me abuse, and abandonment, so how was i souppose to take care of kids? fear of failure, fear of not doing it right, fear of responsibilty,all the responsible adults in my life hurt me so whats the point/ Fear of being a mom period. just being? i never thought i would ever be afraid of just being. well i have one thing i didnt have all those years ago...... i have my savior comforting me and taking my fear from me, hanging it ion his cross for me and covering it and washing it away weith his blood. i know its not going to be instant or easy, im terified now as i get ready to go pick up my son for our final thursday visiot before court, but as i go im going to take on thing with me that even now i havent been taking with me, because i never relized what it was, the fear in the first place. im going to take the peace and love of jesus, and walk with his arm around me all day to help me with my emotionaly damaged but precious children who im filled with such joy in know, I do want them and i always have! i have just let satans fear hold me back till now, but just watch me now..... here i go ........clinging to jesus and his promis to take my fear away.