My girls are watching The Littles on Hulu...I am bored. I can think of several things I would like to do but can't because I am a mom. Why did I choose this life? Why didn't anybody tell me it was ok to not have children? Everyday I dread the time they wake up, I hardly ever enjoy spending time with them. I am awfully good at pretending. I LOVE my girls but I do not love being a mom. I am more like fun Aunt material. I am also regretting the decision not to give them up for adoption when I had the chance. They would of had a Mom or Dad that actually wanted to be a parent. 

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mywon...
May. 20, 2010 at 4:19 PM

Are you serious? you dread the timethey wake up? YIKES. being a mom issomething so awesome, i never understand WHY somemothers say the things you just typed out. you dont enjoy spending time with them and you REGRET not giving them up for adoption?? geez, i feel bad for your babies. to have a mom who doesnt want them has to be hard.

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pomeroyz
May. 20, 2010 at 4:29 PM

I am so sorry you are feeling like this.  I have my days where I could of typed this but more days that I am in awe of the beauty I created.  You may be depressed.  I don't know if you are able to talk to a doctor but I know there is hope for you.  Hang in there!  As they get older they are more "fun" once you can do spend time with them and do things that you all love together.

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daisyb
May. 20, 2010 at 11:01 PM

 

   WOW- I hope you are just having a really Bad Day to make you feel this way about your daughters- I think we have all gotten overwhelmed being a Mom every now & then, but for you to Dread them getting up each day sounds like it is alot more than just being overwhelmed- You may think you are good at pretending, but i guarantee they pick up the vibes of how you really feel- I promise you if you continue down this road- It will effect their Self-Esteem & just about every other negative thing in their life- I have no doubt that you love your girls but you really need to get some help about why you are feelings like this- Finding a counselor would be the Best thing you could do for All of you- I was only 19 when i had my daughter & 21 when i had my son- it was not always a piece of cake being so young & on my own- so i do understand somewhat how you feel, but no matter how hard it got at times they have always been my whole world & the Very Best part of me- You are getting So ripped- off not to be able to feel that- & so are your Beautiful Girls- i hope that you make a appointment to talk to someone- Wishing you the Best of Luck-

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ashis...
May. 21, 2010 at 8:54 AM

We are all going to family counseling starting next week. I don't feel love for anybody, I do not have strong emotions. I am selfish to want so much time to myself instead of with them. My husband is a great dad and he stayed at home with them for two years while I was hardly ever home. Now that I am home with them most of the time I realize that I do not have normal mom feelings. Hopefully counseling will be helpful for all of us.

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daisyb
May. 21, 2010 at 11:35 PM

 

   I am just reading your last post or i would of already commented- I just to tell you i give you alot of credit to put this all out there; i am sure that wasn't the easiest thing to do- I am really sorry that you are going through this- You are taking the right steps to help you figure out why you are feeling like this- You will be in my thoughts- Take Care-

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