Dear God, can we talk?

[autumngal]

I'm looking for a quiet listener....just quiet and calm.  God, you are up, ok?  You are the quietest I know but still everpresent.  I thank You for that.  I appreciate Your presence, Your ear, Your love.  Seriously, thank You.  My heart is bursting and I'm not really sure why.  It's bursting, not breaking, not sadness or hurt but not joy either.  Not too sure I know what I'm feeling......I'm just feeling.  Maybe it's because I've not taken the time, really taken the time to actually be still and feel in a while.  You know how it is.  Busy lives, work, kids, family, home, the crazy dog and all of our schedules.  Just busy, brushing things aside.  These are the first words I've written in quite some time,,,,except those notes to remind me to rush and do this, remember to do that.  You know.  The never ending lists.  I cleaned out my purse today and my work bag...aka. my bags of tricks.  I threw away numerous lists, reminder notes, etc.  Things I've finished, completed or transferred to a new list.  That felt nice.  I sat and talked with my little guy tonight.  He's missed me, You know that.  He begged me not to go to work today.  It breaks my heart but my schedule is my schedule and it's what pays our bills...almost. I keep working, I keep striving, I keep counting my blessings, I keep appreciating....everything except me.  Tonight I sat on the front porch and felt the warm breeze on my skin.  I listened to the peepers chirping.  I took large consuming breaths and enjoyed the spring air.  I was still, I felt and I appreciated this experience.  I longed for more and sat quietly, just to feel.  Thank You for these moments even when they bring a bursting heart.  It's a strange feeling but I welcome it.  It's part of me and the life I choose, for now.  It is what is necessary.  New adventures await me, new lists and new beginnings but I will always to appreciate the still moments, the quiet and Your presence.  Please remind me, now and again, to take more of these moments.  I love You and feel very well blessed.

Love~Laura

[sonja007]

May. 23, 2010 at 2:02 PM

I am here listening and sending hugs :)

[Mylovngheart]

May. 24, 2010 at 7:15 PM

This is the Laura I miss...

I have never met ANYONE who could write their feelings down like you do, it makes me feel like I'm right there inside your soul, feeling it all with you. You are incredible, whether you believe it or not, you are!

The life you wrote me about earlier sounds so fast paced, and hectic. I'm so glad you took the time to sit on the porch and just be still....even if just for those few minutes, and feel His presence. You're so right, He's the best listener I know...

I love you, ya know...

more than you can imagine.