Will My 16 year old StepSon ever change his way's ?

[MOMofTwo_99_00]

 Well, My stepson moved back home with us about a year ago now. And since he has been home, The three of them have done Nothing But Fight and argue over anything and everything.

                  We were expecting for them to bicker some. Because it was a change for each of them. Robbie was no longer the only boy. Eve was no longer the oldest one in the home. And well its been just a change. I know they would have to work through some differences and try to figure out where each ones place is. But for some reason, I did not think for anything that it was going to take this long for them to work it out. When Micheal first moved in, We had a two bedroom house. So we moved to a Bigger place with Three bedrooms, The boys share a room, Eve has her own room. And me and Rob. But I swear the Boys are at each other night and day. And Eve and Micheal cant be in the same room together for more then two minutes. The crazy thing. Eve and Robbie when alone get along great. And when Micheal and Robbie are alone they get along Good. But for some odd reason they just cant be together in the same room. Its sad to me. And really hurts me that they cant be nice to each other.

                   I just thought that it was going to be so great to have us all together again. As a family. To be all in the same home, And share life together. But I did not know how much Micheals actions where going to reflect on his younger brother and sister. Its been really bad. He has both of them swearing, Calling each other mean and cruel names. And it dose not stop at that. They both back talk to me and Rob now. And befor Micheal Moved home, They never did that. They knew better. Now hell. I cant even ask them nicely to clean up there room. I get the worst attitude and smart comments. I feel like Micheal is trying to run my house. And his dad lets just say, Its his Oldest Son, His baby. So Micheal dose no wrong to him. He can scream at Rob, He has even hit his father. And yet Rob still will let him get a way with everything. Yet the other two cant even roll there eyes at him without him screaming. Its really starting to work on my nerves bad. To the point where I think I could leave. I could take my two and just go. I dont think I can take too much more. I Need peace in my home. And I do not like the way it is now. I feel so lost. And HOPELESS. I have tried everything, Counseling. Family therapy, And we have been doing things as a family more. No one has been able to go to there friends or Micheal to his girlfriends. I thought that if we made them spend more time together they would work on getting along better. Micheal treats his girlfriend and her parents like gold. But treats us like shit. Its sad. Really is. Im not sure what else to do. But I know I cant take too much more.

                    There is alot more that is going on, But I would have to write a book for me to even get to the other problems. The main thing is his influence on the other two. And his lack of changing. He is always so happy that he is a smart ass and rude. I swear he takes great pride in it. He thinks its wonderful to treat people shitty. So what do you do, When you have a 16 year old stepson who thinks he can do what he wants. And as soon as you dont let him get his way. He makes everyone in the house pay. Its bad. And I need advice. Please dont bash me or judge me. Im a dam good mother. And have raised Micheal since he was two. His own mother has never been there, Him and I at once time were so close, And we had a wonderful relationship, But since he started dating this girl Things have went down hill. So I dont know what to do.

                   Thanks for reading.

                    Patty Mosso

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[Lb128f]

May. 25, 2010 at 12:14 AM

I'm sorry. If his Dad lets him hit, cuss and get away with all he is doing there isn't much you can do as a SM...other than have him leave or you leave. Maybe try a different counselor, maybe take him out alone (just the two of you) and explain the situation to him -- that he is NOT in control and that he is going to have to change or leave???? I'd go to a million counselors until I found one that "clicked" -- you know? I hope you can find some resolution because letting a 16 year old "run" the house isn't a good idea (obviously)...Good Luck!

[MSugarKane]

May. 25, 2010 at 8:09 AM

*hugs*

Teens are so difficult.  Teen siblings FIGHT , a lot.  One usually being the teaser causing most of the problems.  

You can try to appeal on his good side of him instead of yelling and fighting back with him or the other two, just shake your head and tell them you are very disappointed in them as a person.

Stay strong.  They do grow up around 21.

[tomatoqueen]

May. 26, 2010 at 12:53 AM

Teens fight. You are also giving him what he wants--attention. Negative attention is just as valuable to a kid as positive attention. Instead of always pointing out his faults, find something he does well. Compliment him. It sounds like he does not think he is wanted and would rather fight than appear vulnerable. Sure, he is good to his girl friend's family because they aren't yelling at him to do things (not saying you shouldn't .....just saying)