My little horror story OR Are you THAT under-protective mom???

[kroshka]

We have our own views on how we should (individually, of course), raise our kids. Right? Mine are simple: I'm an overprotective mother. I am. I will always hold my daughter's hand when crossing the road, I will not allow her to play on a parking lot, I will never leave her unattended. At the same time, I will not run to console my daughter if she trips and falls. I'll tell her to get back up, shake it off, and we'll keep going. Well, that's me. One of my new friends is the opposite. She lets her kid learn by making mistakes and does not restrict her or secure her. She does give instructions on how to be careful..if that makes a difference.

Her kid is almost five. Mine is almost four years old.

This is what happened.

My friend (let's call her Dana), her husband, and their almost-five year old daughter (let's call her Bella) invited us to meet them at the beach. My husband was at work. My daughter and I drove to the beach and met them early in the evening.

After an hour playing in the sand, our girls decided to check out the pierce. The pierce is long, without railing, and L-shaped. I immediately told my daughter to be careful and NOT run. Better yet stay on the shore. Donna, on the other hand, loudly announced that kids SHOULD explore the world through experiences and as long as they are careful, they would be O'k. She gave her daughter a blessing to have fun on the pierce. She also told me that her daughter has been taking swimming lessons and was a good swimmer... I was hesitant at first, but decided to follow my gut and walked after MY daughter. We held hands as we strolled up and down the pierce. Then she took her hand out of mine and walked next to me. Eventually, she became confident and began to run. Slowly. My heart sank. I swear, I've never been more scared in my life. I wanted to take her back to the beach but Bella kept running back and forth, yelling how fun it was, and that there was nothing to be afraid of. Of course, that made my daughter a bit less fearless. I was always one step behind my child. Always able to reach her.

 

Donna, all this time, was standing on the shore watching us. I kept walking behind my daughter, periodically telling her to be careful and not run (please, for Goodness sake, stop running!!!!) but I had this bad influence running circles around us....when suddenly Bella ran passed us and towards the end of the pierce, away from the shore....and the last thing I saw was her falling into the water.

My heart sank with her.

My daughter and I stood there, breathless, for a second and I started walking towards her (I was 20 feet away) to dive in and save her. The water in our area does not get WARM until september..it was freezing. I had my daughter next to me and could not panic or start running--I could not afford two kids in the water. I could not afford to slip and fall because I am not a strong swimmer..I needed to dive in where Bella was, not 20 feet away. I could not afford to make a mistake. Hand in hand, we began to walk fast towards the sinking Bella, who was not in my sight of vision as she was below the pierce floor. Her mother (thanks God) saw her falling in and began to yell for her husband to come and save her. Meanwhile, she remained standing on the shore..NOT MOVING.

Her husband, in record time, ran from the parking lot onto the pierce, passed us, and dove into the water. He brought Bella up and we saw that she was safe.

I am not going to go into details of how the evening ended. The little girl was fine as far as bruising /injuring goes. She didn't hurt herself and did not need CPR. Later on, she told her daddy that she forgot how to paddle with her arms and that a big wave covered her head and she could not see the sky. But he jumped in fast enough and she was fine. 

So there it is.....I am STILL in shock. Once we got to the shore, I took a five minute mental break, holding on to my daughter. I was shaking while driving back. I was appolled by Donna's behavior, her attitude towards her child, her parenting skills (can you even call it that??)

On the way back, I kept going over these events with my daughter, explaining to her how important it is to listen to mommy...even when other kids are allowed to do something and mommy says no..it's a NO!....

Now, every time I think of the incident, my heart skips a bit and not in a good way.

For all the "pushy" moms out there--Please, respect other mom's decisions and views on raising kids. For all the moms that normally don't speak up or avoid confrontation--PLEASE STAND YOUR GROUND!!! Don't allow your child to do ANYTHING that might be dangerous or life threatening. This little girl could've drowned had Donna's husband been at work and not on the beach with us. Please....be assertive when it comes to your kids, don't let other moms tell you what to do and how to do it....it might save your child's life.

 LASTLY, this is the pool/swimming season--PLEASE make this post popular so that other moms will be aware of what could happen if they are not careful. Thank you.

Thank you for reading......

 

 

[kissyfur29]

May. 27, 2010 at 2:37 AM

OMG! I am glad that little girl is ok. I would have been crying my eyes out. I am very paranoid about my kids. Even now. One is a teen and the other two are preteens. My own dd is 11 and I still hold her hand walking across streets. I have no idea what was going through that woman's head but maybe she should be keeping a better eye on her kid.

[CloudWeaver]

May. 27, 2010 at 7:34 AM

I am glad all is ok. I also support your views on parenting. Because when the children hit pre adolescent ages and then on its a roller coaster. You are teaching your child to be safe as well as her seeing this in action teaches her that there is a reason for why you say and mean what you do for her i.e. her safety. This is showing love. Sometimes you have to say No when  you want to say Yes but this is a good way to show our children we only want the best for them.

Hugs

[Lb128f]

May. 27, 2010 at 9:22 AM

I'm sorry this happened. Glad to hear it all turned out okay. I agree....children around water (any water) has the potential to be a dangerous situation, especially if a parent isn't alert to the dangers.

[knagsmom]

May. 27, 2010 at 10:35 AM

i dont like mothers who think that letting their kids who are just taking swimming leasons go off alone. im always right next to my kids in the water. my son is 3 and he does wear a lifevest but i dont let him get more then an arms reach away from me. dd is on 19 months and cant wear a vest so i hold on to her. i did lifeguard training in  highschool and was on the swim team for yrs but even all that training doesnt help sometimes. what if there would have been a riptide. that poor girl could have been taken in a different direction then where she was. GOD BLESS her and protect her and thank goodness you were their with ur daughter

[rain408]

May. 27, 2010 at 11:03 AM

You handled this situation perfectly. Kudos.

But isn't the word 'pier', not pierce?

Thanks for posting.

[Kellyjude1]

May. 27, 2010 at 4:50 PM

 Thank God that little girl is ok.  I am an overprotective mother, and proud of it!! LOL.  My friends all make fun of me, but I do not care.  I would much rather be safe, then sorry.  In fact, one friend of mine I cannot hang around too much just for that reason.  She allows her child to do things just to act as if her child is older. My heart cannot take that...lol.