this journal isn't about me, but it will sound like it. i just need to get some backround out before i get to why i need to talk to someone
I just spent 4 months in an abusive relationship. he is a narcissist and has bipolar episodes of hypomania. He fixates on the internet and forgets the world, moreso if it doesn't benefit him in any way. He would ignore me for days, barely saying anything to me, most often fighting with me. He was always emotioanlly hurtful to me. He would tell me how physically unattractive I was. There were times we were okay but it was rare. I stuck with it because often he didnt know how hurtful he was being. i pointed it out regularly and then the abuse would stop for a few days.
After we broke up we continued to live together, and I continued to be there for him. he was having a hard time with his family and n either of us could afford to live on our own. Things were okay for awhile. Then they werent. He neglected my daughter nearly causing her to drown, and started ignoring her, which confused the hell out of her.
Now I don;t live with him, and in the month i've been gone he has gotten worse. I think his brain has completely screwed him over. He has been sending me emails about various things since he had my belongings and my cats. Now he doent have my belongings or my cats.
This morning I woke up to an email that said "This is how you treated me" and a video. It's from menwhoareabused.com all about how narcississtic women abuse their partners. But he was the one who abused me and was narcissistic, so I'm confused. Earlier in the month he was emailing me and I told him why I left the apartment and he said he was afraid I would get meaner and meaner to him.
His brain is so messed up now it has twisted our roles. There isnt anything I can do and I feel very worried about him, even though hes my ex. I was a very living and supportive girlfriend, despite the abuse. I put up with a lot and tried to help him, and now I'm immediately the bad guy. I'm trying not to let it bother me but when someone thinks that horribly about me I feel rotten.
I guess I just needed this out there.
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