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Sisters......extremely long! But Please Help.
- Jun 5, 2010 at 12:14 PM
- By
- Comments (1) Total Views (155) Everyone can see this journal post.
Ok all you mommas who came from the post to read this, please leave your honest input, ask any questions you want and I am copying and pasting directly from my sisters page without editing anything, please referee here.
Also note, we did not grow up together, and we live 1100 miles apart (Florida and Illinios).
Here is my sisters journal post she posted after I told her about 8 months ago to never call my home or cell or bother me in any way.
Sisters
- xxxxxx
A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
No matter how much you argue you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay.
A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more than dimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.
When she is by your side, the world is filled with life,
When she is not around, your days are full of strife.
A sister is a blessing, who fills your heart with love,
She flies with you in life with the beauty of a dove.
A companion to whom you can express your feelings,
She doesn’t let you get bored at family dealings.
Whether you are having your ups or downs,
She always helps you with a smile and never frowns.
With a sister you cannot have a grudge,
She is as sweet as chocolate and as smooth as fudge.
Having a sister is not just a trend,
It is knowing you can always turn to her, your best friend.
----------------------------end of my sisters post----------------
Her last update before this journal post was:
Here are my comments to her journal post, please leave me comments on your honest opinoins on this matter, or any questions you might have to form one. Thanks~
my replies to her:
1
We defended each other when others won't. NO MATTER WHAT!
We did some of the silliest things together and there's so many stories to be recalled when we are together. ALL THIS I WOULD LOVE TO CLAIM TO BE TRUE BUT ALAS.....I cant!
Through some of the harshest times, we became muted to one another..........still today Linda.
Yet through it all, the coldness WILL eventually thaw and melt away and we're right back to where we've left off, that is, like nothing has ever been missing...except the mistakes will have been learned and stashed away! I hope.........
And what do I really have to honestly say in truth about the bond I share with my only sister? Read below....
In all honesty, in my life my "sister" means someone who lets her brother Allen move in and lies about it to me. (DECIET)
A sister who tells the world to "come look at her sisters adopted out daughter" the first day they reunite via internet email on her myspace page~ even after sister says let me have her for a couple months before the world talks to her. (SPITEFUL) (center of attention)
In my world sister means she can play super Poke Pet on myspace everyday EVERYDAY because she made $30 selling stuff to people in a whole week but she wont chat on yahoo messenger because she stubbornly believes the phone is the ONLY way to communicate~ knowing I have children and a clean home that I AM ABLE TO type on messenger, ~walk away~ and come back and type more as I have time but not be on a constant phone call. (SELFISH, CONTROLLING, STUBBORN)
In my world a sister is one who WILL NOT VALIDATE MY HATRED FOR OUR MOTHER who abused us and abandoned us to foster care, who won't just understand the hate I carry is NOT jealousy, but rage over a mother's unloving touch. (INVALIDATION OF MY EMOTION BEING REAL BECAUSE SHE DOESNT FEEL IT SO IT CANT BE TRUE IN MY HEART )
In my world a sister is one who is allergic to cuss words, if you so much as SAY THE WORD FUCK when you are mad she takes it to heart ~and cries like a banshee! If I use the word fuck in any conversation with her and she thinks Im angry at the time, she pulls out the "you're rude" card instead of the issue I was fucking talking about in the first place. (GOOFY SHIT)
In my world a sister is one who won't let loose and party with me. ( REMOVE THE CARDBOARD NEXT TIME, RELAX!) I dont drink, I dont even smoke cigarettes (who can afford to anymore lol) I mean t his "let your hair down" and ease up , its not like you didnt sleep with people you were not supposed to, or shoplift through your 20's to put shoes on your kids. You are not a saint, stop acting like it. Be REAL! Be yourself. YOu are NOT Mr. Monk. 0.o
In my world a sister is one who thinks buying things makes things better, like she didnt grow up in poverty. (LUCKY TO HAVE HER HUSBAND PAMPER HER WITH $)
In my world a sister is one who doesnt work, won't finish school, won't better herself even though she can. (LOW ESTEEM)
There are a million MILLION "In my world's" I could post here, but I just dont care to. I can post what I "want" in a sister, like the ones up top. If I cant BE WHO I AM, if I have to pretend to be someone else then its not a real relationship. I want to call her a bitch when she makes me mad, and get over it, I want her to call me a bitch when she wants to and make me mad, so we can get PAST the stupid issues holding us back from being close.
Its hard enough when we have 1100 miles between us, and I have 3 kids under 5 to deal with as a stay at home mom and Im in college to be a nurse. I want to be able to speak my mind, not walk on glass. VALIDATE MY FEELINGS DAMMIT. Just because you dont feel it doesnt mean it isnt happening. IT IS REAL. To me. Acknowledge ME. Who I AM, not who she WANTS me to be. Listen when I talk, not take only the words you want to and run with them. Not take my words as verbal abuse to you, but that I am sharing who I am and need a sister to listen. I am a venter!
I NEVER LIE. I want to be respected as so. Even those little white lies that people tell, I cannot do it. Im honest to a dam fault! Believe me if I say a purple cloud floated over my house today shaped like a heart, dont wait until you heard it on the NATIONAL NEWS for it to be true, I am the most honest person you will ever meet. Validate me. Respect me.
I so want to live closer to my only sister. I cant just pick up my kids and move, just as much as she cannot just pick up her kids and move. Not my choice. If we had more $ I would push the issue, but we dont., so I just can't.
Sisters arent ~ and I quote "'She is as sweet as chocolate and as smooth as fudge."
Pull your head out of dream land sister..... But she is...quote
A companion to whom you can express your feelings
A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
A sister is someone who loves you from the heart,
No matter how much you argue you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay
A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more than dimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.
And all of the rest of the sentimental things up there and so much more I havent even said . Someday LInda, someday for us. Im still on yahoo messenger as tsjpop@sbcglobal.net when you are ready to be a real sister.
No matter how much you argue you cannot be drawn apart.
She is a joy that cannot be taken away,
Once she enters your life, she is there to stay
A friend who helps you through difficult times,
Her comforting words are worth much more than dimes.
A partner who fills your life with laughs and smile,
These memories last for miles and miles.
And all of the rest of the sentimental things up there and so much more I havent even said . Someday LInda, someday for us. Im still on yahoo messenger as tsjpop@sbcglobal.net when you are ready to be a real sister.
Oh, and one more thing, most important, is trust. I need to know there is a trust. Without trust nothing else can flourish for me. Trust.
But none of this matters anyhow, as soon as she comes back in a couple months to read my comment, she will just delete it. Thats the usual response , just to pretend it was never written. I wont be suprised!
Quoting myself
""""But none of this matters anyhow, as soon as she comes back in a couple months to read my comment, she will just delete it. Thats the usual response , just to pretend it was never written. I wont be suprised!""""""
You see. it's been 3 wks today already since she wrote it and I responded and she hasnt even logged back in to check this. Part time sisterhood will never get you the sister you desire in your original post. A sentimental moment is all you are about Linda. You are soooo like our mother it's sick. Attention whore is what I call her so if the shoe fits.....
Comments:
In relationship boundaries are how we learn to respect the actuality of another. When in a relationship one person tells another, or a caring relations notices a trait, adjust...learn from it...
When words hurt another and they do hurt, hear it, respect it.
She is going through something now. It is ok to tell her you miss her. Want her in your life.
No one is the keeper. To be a friend is to respect the place where you are friends is where you agree and click. Some people are allergic to chocolate. No matter how well intended the thought, if you know they are allergic to chocolate and always give them chocolate at some point that gesture is no longer about attentive caring.
Absolute thinking in a sign. And "attention whore"? Did you know that the reason that prostitutes are so manipulative and mean has to do with issues of intimacy? When a persons needs of intimacy are unmet then the feeling is rage.
Even if your sister resembles your mother, she came by that honestly did n't she?
You asked me and my advise is to take the opportunity to work on yourself and continue over time to your sister provided you are doing so in a manner she can embrace.
I am saddened about your mother abandoning you. And I have lived long enough to know that that type of choice is not one that is easily made, and when it IS it is still not what is ever what anyone wants from their heart.
I hope you and your sister are able to be allies in this fleeting lifetime and learn the many lessons of the heart that only the two of you CAN ever REALLY understand.
Much love for your life and your family...thank you for asking my opinion. I hope there is something in my thoughts that helps you both to take the steps to make the road ahead better for both of you and things work out in a good way.
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Allies, partners in crime, rivals...what sisters should be!
We fought, we patched up. This should be a sister motto!
We laughed at jokes that no one can understand. I so wish we had that.
We said some of the meanest things to each other. Always out of love