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I'm Guilty too
- May 3, 2007 at 5:29 PM
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- Comments (11) Total Views (277) Everyone can see this journal post.
A Mom's Guilt List: I got this from janedoemomma's wonderful self.
Top TEN:
1. my kids are addicted to movies- 'go pop in a movie' i'll say- gives me some breating room to talk to hubby or make dinner or do dishes (which i'm teaching them to do now that they're getting old enough) we do talk a lot more nowadays than in the past tho- the radio doesnt work in the car anymore and now we're forced to have family conversations (which is more like Q&A sessions kids ask...mommy answers)every trip. i'm sure its one of God's mysterious blessings.
2. my kids eat a lot of peanut butter sandwiches - thats just what they like! i'll slave over a hot stove making a good nutritious dinner for them and they'll cry and whine for peanut butter. i say 'FINE!' as long as there's some sort of nutritional value...protein, right? iron? something...
3. i spend more time on cafemom while at work than acutally working. i'm trying to go on a cafemom diet....but i have no willpower. its really the only interaction i get with women- i cant be completely myself at work- they'd either look at me funny or fire me- i cant talk about hubby's sex with hubby without hurting him widdle feelings- my kids are my best friends but we cant talk about EVERYthing either. you guys are my sanity. where was i before cafemom? i dont know....
4. i started excersising regularly about a year and half ago- at least a mile a day.....but i havent for the past 3 weeks and boy does it show. my attitude sucks, i'm never 'in the mood' anymore and for some reason ...lack of exercise is making me hungrier. go figure. OH! and i found myself telling the kids yesterday 'not right nooooow......mommy just wants to sit down' i heard myself and yet somehow...i couldnt stop the words from coming outta my mouth....and right after i had a vision of myself 5 years down the line....all 400 pounds of me sitting on the damn couch looking out the window at the kids playing.....it was depressing....
5. i smoke weed. yep. i said it. its not an all day thing but at the end of a long day, all duties accomplished - i just need to exhale...well i inhale first. my mind is buzzing a mile a minute and it helps me relax ...relate...release....not making excuses for what some would classify a 'drug habit' but i'd be up all night without it and I figure its more natural than sleeping pills and well...there it is. (for those panikers- the kids are in bed sleeping with the door closed at this point and i'm in my room with the door closed and as far as they know from the few times they've woken up and caught me -mommy's smoking cigarettes.)
6. i cuss alot. and ya know what? i'm not even gonna lie and say i dont curse around the kids. i'll be honest- i do. they're the ones who inspire it. i'm trying to cut it down especially since my 7 and 5 year olds keep telling me to stop saying those words(stop saying that word, mommy). i try to explain the 'i'm a grown up' thing but it really doesnt fit in with alot of other stuff i tell them; like about whats nice to say and whats not and if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all. 'ass' gets the most use. 'get your ass in the bed' 'get your ass outta my room' 'get your ass off the damn table!!' 'WHAT THE FUCK' would be the next big one. they're always doing something and everytime i turn around theres SOMEthing to say WHAT THE FUCK? about. i'm sorry. i really am. they tell me to stop and i tell them...well stop doing stuff that makes me cuss.
7. i sometimes neglect all of em- including hubby - for a good book. its not an easy thing to do either. somebody always wants something and as soon as i get good into the book...here they come. so i'll sneak off to the bathroom and claim 'mommy's going boo-boo' just to get a couple more pages in. then when the kids are asleep and hubby wants to talk or just have my attention (he's just like a kid sometimes) i'll have my nose in a book and this pisses him off. sorry. sometimes i just need that escape.
8. i let my kids watch grown up movies. to name a few of their favorites: Blade, The Nutty Professor, Fifth Element, the Mummy series, the Jurasic park series, hubby let them watch Saw III once (i wasnt around to protest-he told me the story) and thankfully the kids decided amongst themselves that this was too much for them and left the room. they mostly watch kid movies like Air Bud and Ice Age and Elmo and Dora, they just discovered The Santa Claus and The Pacifier from mommy's collection and fell in love, but they love the action flicks, shoot em up, kill em up, bang em up movies. in my defense....they're BOYS!
9. i bribe my kids. yes, i know i know... they should learn a sense of responsibility and do things i tell them to because i tell them to...but ya know what? that shit dont work. i want them to clean their playroom spotless and dont feel like yelling or repeating myself? offer a dollar. i want them to fold all their clothes and put em in drawers? offer a dollar. i want them to hurry up and get ready to go in the morning? offer a dollar. on the other hand this could teach them about saving and the value of hard work and money.....always some silver lining.
10. i'm not a bad mom. not overall. i'm with them all the time. they go everywhere i go. we give lots of hugs and kisses, lots of i love you's. i listen when they talk, i even eavesdrop sometimes just to satisfy my curiosity and they always surprise me- in a good way. i encourage them to do their best. i give praise even when they fail. i try to divvie up the love equally so no one feels left out of anything. i even share my chocolate with them. and that says alot. =P i'm not perfect, but i admit to my mistakes and when i'm not making excuses for them i'm trying to correct them.
I know that with some of the things I've said I'm leaving myself open for all kinds of criticism but I've accepted that a as part of life. Have at it, ladies.
Comments:
i smoke weed. yep. - i cuss alot. and ya know what? i'm not even gonna lie and say i dont curse around the kids. -
I'm sorry, but I think that's terrible. I know this is suppose to be a "support site" but I admit, I think that's sad and that you freely admit it like you see nothing wrong with it, like there is no remorse or attempt to change this. :(
whats the first step to recovering or changing things? admitting that you do it and its wrong. phew! glad i got that outta the way!
i apologize for not hiding my faults. i know i totally screwed up the perfect view of me that you all had before....shoot!
and jeeze! isn't that just like a mom! pointing out my faults instead of praising me for the good. sooory mom. i wont do it anymore. (pout)
It has absolutely NOTHING to do with perfection but as a mother, parent and/or guardian of children, yes there are certain things I THINK are completely unacceptable, doing drugs is one of them. I cannot for the life of me, ever remotely support someone doing drugs, esp IN FRONT OF HER CHILDREN! I'm not afraid to say some things are wrong, I find that purely wrong to do as a parent.
I have never claimed to be perfect. There are things I do that I'm sure people find wrong, infact I know they think are wrong and horrible parenting but doing DRUGS! Jeeze you put it out there and even said yourself "I know that with some of the things I've said I'm leaving myself open for all kinds of criticism" damn right it did. You don't want it criticized, don't put it out there, esp if you are doing ILLEGAL DRUGS INFRONT of your CHILDREN!
Shaadddup lady. Get a life. It happens more than you think. I could and would post this myself. I'm sure we would think some of the things in your life are just as bad as you find this. Psh. There are worse things going on. A lil pot never hurt anyone. Granted I don't smoke when my kids are awake, but still.... calm down. LOL maybe you need a hit. :D
lol sorry, momofboys, for butting in here, but.... some people are just too narrowminded. It bugs me. People have to think outside their little boxes sometimes. There's a whole world of great things out there that society has deemed as "bad" and "wrong" just because you can't open your eyes to that doesn't give you any right to preach your BS to me. Get over it. Her kids are great. They're fine. They're in no danger. Why don't you spend your time talking to people who beat their kids. Who SERIOUSLY neglect their kids. Crack whores. Abusive drunks. There is a world of difference.
Now, I'm totally sure you've got an armload of ammunition to throw back at me, but don't bother. I don't care what you have to say. Nothing you say will change my perspective. Just preach to someone who wants to hear it next time, ka?
Thanks so much, and have a great day ladies!
MomsWhoThink I understand your objections. There are moms on here that I've totally disagreed with their parenting style and couldnt stop myself from letting them know. And you're right, I posted this journal and I have to expect- actually I was fully expecting a barrage of criticism. I'm really surprised you're the only one....well...the day is still young. Perhaps it was some subconscious thing that made me want to tell you all (actually i think i've mentioned it in journals before...just not in a list with all my other faults). Maybe I was looking for criticism. Sometimes one critical remark from the right person is all it takes for someone to make a change in their lives. I respect you for voicing your opinion and standing up for what you beleive.
But you make it sound like i line my kids up and roll fatties right in front of them- 'hey kids! you wanna hit this? this is pot, also known as marijuana- dont you want some?' or 'hey boys, i'm shooting up some herion (is that how you spell it?) ya'll want some crack? mommy's doin' ILLEGAL DRUGS, come watch!!'
I'm not saying its right, or that its the best thing I do as a mother (of the many, many good and bad things I do as a mother)- but its just pot. Sure its illegal. We all know that. But it is NOT on the same level as heroion, cocaine, or crack or whatever other hardcore brainkilling drugs are out there ruining people's lives. I'm not a drugee. I dont sell my 'goodies' to get some more. No one suffers because of my bad habit. And my kids have NO IDEA what it is or that its any different from cigarettes- and i'd prefer to keep it that way until they're old enough to understand and make their own choices. All they need to know right now is that they're not to be in any room where anyone is smoking anything.
Plus, I actually came out and said I'm GUILTY. hello. that is admitting fault. I'm not boasting or bragging ' i smoke pot with my kids-i'm so cool'. cause no. thats not the case. I'm saying after they're asleep, i sneak a joint (the same way i and some of you sneak sex with hubby) or a half a blunt to calm my brain down. I'm sure you wouldnt feel so strongly about it if I has said I pop sleeping pills every night- although studies have shown them to be more detrimental to your physiological health than marijuana. You wouldnt be so quick to criticize something 'society' has deemed 'acceptable'. Anyway. I am a long-time pot-head. My first time smoking was my junior year in high school when the most respected and beloved girl on the varsity basketball team took me aside and shared with me. I left it alone for a while because I was DYING the next day at basketball practice. I started smoking more after highschool and all thru college (picked up drinking too) when I moved to Chicago and met my (now) husband. (doing the math) I have been smoking weed for 12 years now(while I have stopped drinking altogether). I have done a lot of research (and i really mean that) on the subject to have ammo for situations like this and to defend my habit. I'm not going to spout any of that here, I dont think its called for. I am not trying to create animosity and I dont think I can change your mind on the subject. I was simply sharing a piece of my life with you all. Think of it what you will. Criticize if thats whats moves you. I'll still share.
I may change some of my bad habits, work on them, cut down on things, make a conscious decision to be a better person, even its only one thing at a time. Nothing is ever set in stone. Learning, growing, evovling from life's experiences is what makes life....life. Smoking weed.....that'll prolly be the last thing to go, if at all. LOL! by the time i get around to quitting my kids'll be in college wanting to smoke with me.
I remember when I was 23 (or maybe 21) the best and most memorable bonding moment I ever in my whole life had with my dad is when he, my hubby and I sat in my dad's garage and shared a blunt for the first time. I felt I had come of age. And felt closer and maybe even a little more respect for my dad after that. And dont go thinking - oh your dad must be a crackhead. no. He's actually the CEO of a very respected, large manufacturing company. People everywhere are different. Just because you see certain things portrayed on TV as 'bad' and they show you the worst case scenarios. . . thats not always the case in real life. You can have a weed habit and still become successful. My dad was an alchoholic (or recovering or however they say it) and yet still became successful. He has a wonderful wife, succesful kids who make their own decisions, me being one of them. I even consider myself succesful. Marijuana is not the bad thing people have 'cracked' it up to be.
ok ok- i HAVE to sprout one thing i found in my research: For all you cigarette smokers out there- studies have shown that people who smoke weed in addtion to cigarettes lower their chances of getting lung cancer and emphasema by 95%. Apparently the THC coats your throat and lungs (sounds bad but its good) and protects it from the damages of cigarettes without causing nearly as much damage itself. Of course you can take what you want away from this. Just thought i'd share!
I'm sure we would think some of the things in your life are just as bad as you find this.
As bad as doing ILLEGAL DRUGS in front of my children and then trying to justify it, I doubt it. I have never done drug. Honestly I would be VERY careful admitting to ILLEGAL activities online like this. Incase you are not aware the internet is not private, nor is cafemom. I do not think you are a bad mother overall but this is ILLEGAL and you could get in VERY serious trouble.
Smoking cigarette around children is bad, I agree, second hand smoke is the worst esp for little ones, but that does not justify illegal drug usage period. Smoking cigs is also not illegal.
I personally find it sad you have "good" memories of doing illegal activities with your father, esp drugs. I can't ever imagine doing drugs infront of my children more or less sharing a blunt with them *gag*
HEY!! Let's get this woman a medal.....
She just doesnt know when to stop Jaaaayyyzzzz!
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You go girl!! I admire your honesty. We all have some things that we would like others not to know about us!!
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