So stressed... So scared

[lust2dust]

Well my husband and I have been TTC for a little over three years. We have had 2 BFP's but sadly both those babies went to heaven. Well the doctors have told me that I most likely had even more miscarriages than those two. I kinda suspected this because I know what it feels like and how my body reacts. Well after our last miscarriage we decided to ask for help. So our doctor started me on Clomid. Well I just finished the pills yesterday. It was my first round but now I am having issues. I desperately want a baby, but I do not think I will survive one more loss. It hurts so bad and I am so afraid that I will just give up. My husband thinks that I will be okay, that it will be hard if it does happen but he insists that we try. I just don't want my heart to break anymore. He keeps saying that he won't let it happen. That the moment we get a BFP, I will be on strict bed rest. If it were any other time, I would do it but I start back to school in a few months and I can not miss the first term. (I am on financial aid probation). That means that I have to maintain a GPA of 2.0 and I MUST complete at least 60% of the credits. I am taking 13 credits in Fall. And after that I can sign up for online classes that I can do at home. This has been a long process and I would hate to come all this way just to say "Hey I'm not ready". I know in my heart that I am ready for that precious baby. I know I would be a good mother and my husband would be a wonderful daddy! How do I know if I will be okay if it does happen again? Am I over reacting or are my fears legitimate? I guess I will continue to try and if it does happen I will deal with it like I have before. I just pray that I can have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby! Thanks for reading this...

[neng999]

Jun. 18, 2010 at 5:59 PM

hi..being a mom and a wife is a different thing..but being scared is a different too..be brave,dont be too hard on yourself,..take time to pray for everything and stay focus and happy...focus on positive side of life and take things lightly...