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A new baby
- Jun 19, 2010 at 11:35 PM
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- Comments (2) Total Views (113) Everyone can see this journal post.
WARNING...THERE ARE A FEW MINOR SWEAR WORDS SUCH AS THE WORDS FOR "POOP" AND "BUTT." Nothing too extreme, I promise.
I just managed to get my daughter through high school. Actually she finished 5 months early and her diploma even says January 19, 2010 rather than June 9th the day she walked across the stage taking her from her youth to full adulthood. I was still celebrating the awesome event that we had just witnessed when a few days later she came home to tell me she was pregnant!
The one thing I always told her was to use birth control. A. I'm not ready to be a grandma and B. She's too young and has so much to do in the next few years to be tied down with a baby. It doesn't help that her boyfriend is a LOSER in the highest degree. No high school diploma or GED, no job and in less than a month he will be homeless. His parents have had it with his 23 year old ass sitting around playing in the band and skateboarding all the time. Right now my daughter is staying with him at his parent's townhouse but she is always welcome to come back here despite my house being small. I will never turn her out but him! I don't think so!
She is a phenomenal person who always works, sometimes even 2 jobs and goes to school. I don't think she needs to be supporting his ass. She's 18. The next 8 months will be hard enough on her with going to college, working and all the changes the pregnancy brings. How did her self esteem get so low that she is willing to put up with his shit? Twice in the past he has broken up with her after about a month and both times on important days that wreaked havoc in our family. The first time was on Valentine's Day (well not exactly,he ignored her calls until midnight and then broke up with her). She claims he blamed the break up on me as she could not go out all the time til late at night like he does. Ummm, she's just turned 17 and is in school. I will not be allowing her to roam the streets of Pittsburgh til all hours. Uh Uh no way NEVER gonna happen. We proceeded to fight for two weeks until her plane took her back to Florida. She came back 5 months later and they hooked up again. We took a family trip to NJ and NYC. He broke up with her 2 hours before a family wedding and she was so depressed she skipped the reception, was a bitch at the wedding and could not fully enjoy our visit to NYC. We are still not over his past BS and now we are tied to him for life. When does it end?
On one hand I want him to be a great father to my grandchild on the other hand I want him to be his usual self and disappear. I know that with our support my daughter can raise the baby on her own and eventually find a decent man who can be her partner in life and a good stepfather to the baby. I found it, my mother in law did, and so did her step-sister, so we know it can be done.
I cried and grieved for her lost opportunities and now I'm getting used to the idea of being a MaMa. I am not a Grandma, Granny, Nana, Nan or even Gram and MeeMaw is so out of my realm I can't imagine it. My daughter calls me Momma so MaMa is good for the baby.
My 11 year old son is totally stoked. He took out his hockey jersey today and said he's wearing to the hospital so the baby knows that he is going to be the coolest uncle in the world. He promises to babysit for free when he's old enough and teach the baby to skate and play hockey. How cool is that? He even agreed to let the baby use his crib which we've been saving for him. He has such a good heart and after his initial "I'm too young to be an uncle" he's been awesome. I don't think he realizes that my daughter's 6 year old half-sister is already an aunt 3 times over and about to be 4 times. 2 of her nephews are 4 and 5. Crazy, I know!
After all the tortuous teen years my daughter informed me over the past year that when she had kids I'd never meet them. I'm happy to say that once she found out and realized that no, I was not going to kick her ass despite years of threats, she has come to see me everyday and calls or texts also. She has said that I won't be in the delivery room but has conceded that she will probably change her mind and need her Momma. Of course I'll be there. I don't want a front row seat but I'll be glad to help her push, rub her head and show her how supportive I can be. I have even agreed to pick her dad up at the airport when he comes to visit. How's that for grown up? He can't stay with me, but I will pick him up.
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I can't say that I can relate. My older sister had my niece when I was 5; we're 11 years apart in age. I'm happy that your daughter has your support. But I also totally feel for you too., I just became the mother of a wonderfull little girl 3 yrs ago. It still has not quit sunk in. I vowed school NOT sex would first for me. After watching the cramp the my older sis went through. An I still manged to drop out college to get married and have a baby! I'm now planning on going back to school and I'm still married......
The hardest part is not watching others becoming tied down. It's trying to support them thru it.
Good Luck.
And for me, remind your little girl how awesome you ARE! I call my mother every day thank her. I hope your daughter does find a good man. But for now I hope she appreacates her family.
- Pexagon53
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