I am almost 20 wks pregnant now with my twins which is awesome! I'm already feeling quite sore and I definitely do not have a lot of energy by the end of the day. I get a bit emotional rather than pissed when anything goes wrong. I feel a bit left behind lately too. Everyone has their busy busy lives but here I am at home most of the time! It's way too hot for me to waddle around outside and Cameron doesn't sweat b/c of his medicince so we can't be out all day when it's 90 friggin degrees! lol
It feels a bit lonely being here at home just me and Cameron and most days go by without contact from another human being until after Chad gets home @ 4pm. I'm the only one in my family to ever have multiples and none of them care to be understanding or stop asking me to jump up whenever they need something. I still watch my 2yr old nephew sometimes and by the end of the day I'm in tears or physically exhausted! My husband is not really good at communicating and he just doesn't seem to get that after being here alone all day with the kids I need some adult conversation!!
We just bought our first house and we're finally pregnant after 3 yrs of trying so I have tons to be thankful for and I am very greatful. I just need to talk to people and not be alone all day ya know?!?! When these babies come it will be cold outside and I will have my hands full so I really won't be able to do anything but be a mom for awhile. I will also be really tired I'm sure. I end up going to most appts by myself so my husband can save his vacation days for after the babies are born and then I end up at home the rest of the week alone too.
I really thought by this time in my life I would have friends that were around all the time and maybe couples who Chad and I could get together with often. I really try to make time for anyone who wants to make time for me but when I have something going on (like being pregnant with twins in the hot ass Summer) no one wants to show up anymore. I can only be around my siblings and parents so much before I need a break from them. I have to have time away from them so they understand that I have my own life.
My mother in law still hates me for no apparent reason which I have plenty of time to sit here and think about while I have nothing else to do all day. We called and left her a message about the sex of the twins and she didn't even bother to call back! I sit here and wonder will the twins come early?? Will my beeotch of a mother in law want to show up after they're here and ruin the experience for me?? How will I manage twins and my 5 yr old who has to be at school by 8am everyday?? Who the hell is going to help me out when I need something and Chads at work??
Maybe I wouldn't have so many worries if I wasn't sitting here with no one to talk to all day!! I'm slowly becoming more and more attached to my husband in a way that's not good b/c I don't want to be here alone all week while he's at work and I don't want him to do things w/o me when it's the weekend. Anyways just a little vent but damnit I'm sure all stay at home moms feel this way at one time or another!
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