One year.

[heratyc]

This time last year I was just starting to push.  I had been in the hospital for a pretty short amount of timeand would have my little one in my arms in around an hour.  I guess I was one of the lucky ones, just a few short hours of labor.  This year, I was hoping to come home to a birthday girl and tell her "mommy got the job!" .....Instead I come home and try to figure out how to find another job that will let me pay the mortgage until I can retest.....next freaking year.  I was so sure that I could do it, but my arm gave out during the push-ups because I strained a muscle and had no time to let it heal, that was my fault.  So I won't get into the academy this year.  I'm hoping to find something fast, because Luke is having more trouble than me finding a job due to the fact that BP has raped the industry that he was in....thanks a lot you money whoring coorporation, I hope those in charge rot.  This was supposed to be a happy day for all of us, instead I came home crying.  I swear, no matter what happens, I WILL get that job one day, I've been putting it off for years and there are only so many years they will let you do this.  From now until I DO get into the academy, I will be pushing myself harder than anything in this world, I have to.  Next year, I will get into the academy, I will graduate, and I will become a police officer.  And if I can't do that, then I will find a job that will make my failure at least feel worthwhile.  I will never let her see me stop trying to make a better life for her, she deserves better than that, and she'll get it.  Even if I have to get a job at a fast food place, I'm going to save this house, this is her home, and I won't let it be taken away from her.  Ever.

Happy Birthday Aoife, mama will make it up to you, one way or another.