Bracing for impact

[bamababe1975]

In 2009, mil had leg pains & went to the dr. They found a clot, but also found cancer - officially stage 3c endometrial cancer. She had surgery to remove her uterus, ovaries, as many lymph nodes as they could, & any other cancerous tissue they could find in her abdominal cavity. She nearly died, but she did go into remission. Things were looking up... until she fell out of bed 3x, & then fell & broke her wrist.

The cancer's back, or, more accurately, had never gone into remission. Friday night, she couldn't move her left side at all. They thought she had a stroke, or maybe a bleed, but discovered her cancer had spread to her brain. After much debate & numerous consults, she began radiation treatment, & it's taking her down.

I love her dearly, have for almost 11yrs now, & I don't want her to die, but it's not the same as if she were my mother. Still, in a way, it's actually worse because she's my husband's mother, my children's grandmother, & I have to watch & ease their pain through all of this. We pray, we hope for the best, but we all know the end is near.

If the treatment doesn't kill her, the cancer will. It's aggressive, this cancer she has, it's devious, the doctors say. If they can manage to get it to retreat, it will, as before, find a new way to attack. The end is near, & I'm bracing for impact.

*UPDATE 7/6* When hubby got home last night, he said his mom's got a few more courses of radiation & then her docs are going to reassess to determine whether to continue treatment or switch to hospice care. FIL says she's not coming home, & after seeing her for himself, hubby agrees. Now we're making plans to all of us go down to see her ASAP so we get the chance to tell her how much we love her & to say goodbye.

**UPDATE 7/8** The doc called a family meeting, & hubby drove the 4hrs to attend. It's time for hospice care. There's nothing further they can do for her but to make her comfortable. She's moving to a hospice facility the family used before for fil's dad when he was dying from cancer, too, so we know they'll help make her final days as comfortable as possible. We're going down soon to see her. 

*** UPDATE 7/10*** Mil passed away this morning. 
 

[cheyjanssen]

Jul. 5, 2010 at 10:26 PM

I'm so sorry. I know that doesn't make the situation any better, but I am, because losing a loved one is devastating!  I will be praying and asking God to grant your family the strength to make it through the situation. I will also pray that God will grant your mil comfort and peace.  Although you have to be a support for your husband and family, you need to make sure you give yourself the opportunity to grieve as well. You are not alone, if you need someone to talk to, I am here for what it is worth.

[Lb128f]

Jul. 5, 2010 at 10:56 PM

I'm so sorry. I will be keeping your MIL (and you) in prayer.

[jennie495]

Jul. 5, 2010 at 11:23 PM

If there is anything that I can do, please let me know.  My adoptive father died a year ago unexpectedly, and my kids are still reeling from it.  I know that this isn't going to make you feel better, but take comfort in the fact that no matter what gets her in the end, your children will be able to let her know how much she means to them, and that is something that no cancer will ever be able to take away.  My thghts and prayers are with you through this difficult time.

[MAmom2boys]

Jul. 6, 2010 at 12:35 AM

Keeping you and your family in prayer.

[bamababe1975]

Jul. 6, 2010 at 8:56 AM

Thank you all so much. All of my online buddies are helping to keep me going through this so I can help my family keep going, too. Unfortunately, having lost my own grandfather to cancer, I know what this is like for the girls now, and I know what to say to them, but that doesn't make it any easier because now *I'm* the mom who's having to tell her kids the awful news.

(Original Poster)

[sukainah]

Jul. 6, 2010 at 9:16 AM

I am so sorry.  Thoughts and prayers are going out for you and family. 

 

[sunset414]

Jul. 6, 2010 at 9:27 AM

You and your family are in our prayers.

[mcpavelka]

Jul. 6, 2010 at 6:40 PM

praying for you - your family - and those that love and will continue to love your MIL even after she dies.  yes i know that "D" word is so hard to say, but i read an article today that brought tears to my eyes.  it said something along the lines of "i didn't LOSE my wife, i know exactly where she is ... she's in my heart.  in my memory.  in everything i do.  no it doesn't hurt everyday and some days are better than others.  i just wish someone would tell me ... i'm sorry your wife died.  not that i'm sorry you lost your wife, you know she's in a better place.  i didn't lose her - i know where she is.  and she's not in a better place because she isn't here with me."  i know it doesn't help - but praying for a peaceful death and understanding from all the family members involved.

[bamababe1975]

Jul. 6, 2010 at 8:04 PM

Thanks again - you are all so sweet, and you just don't know what this means to me.

(Original Poster)

[SusannaM]

Jul. 6, 2010 at 8:28 PM

I am so sorry to hear that you are going thru this.  I lost my MIL this past December.  Any loss is devestating and and I will keep you in our prayers and thoughts.