SIDS...JUST ISN'T FAIR!

[mamabear8869]

Over the last nine months I have Been spending the weekend at my best friend house once or twice a month.  I have been doing this to help get her childhood home ready to be moved into. (her parents were mainly using it as a storage)  She was in a high risk pregnancy, and not able to lift or do much of anything.  Why would she imbark on this journey at this time instead of waiting till the baby was born to start this?  Well this was baby number 2 and there was just not enough room at her parents current home, so they gave her this one.  So, for nine months, we did everything, her directing and me doing, I loved helping her, because I love her, she is the younger sister I no longer have. (my own pased away when we were children)  Well in June we finished with me suprising her with a completely decorated nursery for the two boys.  It was already said that when the baby came, me and my own children would come and stay for a week, since her boyfriend was a truck driver and had to go back on the road right after the baby was born.  So on June 30, 2010 little Nathan Alexander made his debuet in the world, a healthy 7 lb 13 oz 21 inches baby boy! His daddy picked me and my bunch up later that night and we left with our suitcases packed.  We stopped at the hospital, and I instantly fell in love with this lil one that would someday call aunt meana.  And went to her house to make any last minute preperations.  Two days later they came home and we were there waiting.  I told her that I would take the night shift so that she could get some sleep and heal from the difficult labor, and so we made out a schedule.  The first night was had, ( I forgot how it is when they first come home as my baby is already almost four) but it was also amazing, feeding him, changing him, snuggling, loving, watching him sleep. and the next morning at around 5 she emerged ready to go.  We had a great day that day, all the kids got to know him, it was great.  The next night, same thing! Loving, feeding, changing, snuggling, watching him sleep and doing it all over again.  At around 5:30 am, he went back to his mom.  She took over and I took a three hour nap.  I got up washed myself, fed all the kids when I heard him crying.  I almost went in there, (her bedroom ) when I heard her get up and care for him.  After I heard him down, I cracked open her door and asked her if she needed anything, she said no, she was just going to sleep while the bay did.  He was in his bassinet, so I turned her light off and let her sleep.  Around 11:45am my youngest dd went in there to get a ball and woke my friend up by accident. When she woke up, she looked at the time and decided to rouse him to feed and change him.  I got my dd out of there and was half way down the hallway when she started screaming for me to hurry, he wasn't breathing! I ran in there and he was blue, she had picked him up out of the bassinet, so I took him and gave her the phone and told her to call 911.  I laid him down on the floor and started infant CPR.  I tried for over 10 minutes while waiting on the EMS.  When they got there, I ran the baby outside and thrust in ther arms and begged them to save him because I still wasn't getting any response.  They said they would be taking him to St. Elizabeth hospital, so I ran inside to tell her and so we could hurry and get ready to go.  That is when a police officer came in and said that he was sorry but they wouldn't be transporting him, he was gone.  And while my CPR was valient, he was already gone to long for it to help.  So Nathan Alexander, only 4 days old was pronounced dead on arrival.  Now it has been found it is SIDS that took him, even though they say we did everything right... Just isn't fair....

[mommy081207]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 1:35 AM

I'm sorry sorry for all of you. The whole family will be in my prayers.

[ColtsFan1912]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 2:52 PM

you're right, it isn't fair :( I am so sorry. SIDS is terrible & so unfair

prayers said

[MunchiesMom324]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 2:58 PM

I am so sorry... its NOT fair.  Maybe you should spend a few more days with her, give her the support she is going to need... having to bury a baby with another child to care for... she's gonna need your help and your shoulder a LOT.

[GothicMommy3]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 3:23 PM

I'm so so sorry. It's not fair. I lost a little cousin to SIDS when he was 4 months old. I can't imagine the heartache.

[Alexsmom04]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 3:56 PM

I am so sorry for your loss.

[cjsix]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 3:57 PM

[MotherofIreland]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 4:01 PM

Yuck.  I am so sorry!!

[ohbladi]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 4:21 PM

It is not fair. I am so so so so so so sorry for your friend's loss, and for your and your children's loss as well.

[ErinHill226]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 4:27 PM

This really breaks my heart for you all. I have a friend who lost a child to SIDS in 2008 and I have never seen such pain before. I went to the funeral and seeing her baby boy in a casket was by far the worst thing EVER. I'm uber paranoid with my new baby boy now because of it. I can't imagine and I'm truly sorry for your loss and to the poor mother!

Here is her facebook page (my friend). It was started to offer support, information, and an overall community for SIDS parents and anyone else who has been affected by SIDS. They are a great bunch of ladies and I think it's really helped them all to mourn knowing they aren't alone.  www.facebook.com/sidshelp?red=ts  Just an idea. Praying for you all!

[carolhas2kids]

Jul. 9, 2010 at 4:37 PM

I.m sorry there are no words...