Why must people try to make their small babies so independent so quickly?

[mommyof2grls06]

We as Americans think that if your baby isn't sleep through the night by 6 weeks you have done something wrong as a parent. We think that leaving a helpless baby in a dark room alone to cry to sleep at 6 months (or earlier) is perfectly OK. We think that if your baby isn't weaned off your breast by the time they are one it is borderline sexual abuse. Why is this? Why do people in this country think this way?

CIO is extremely harmful to a baby's developing brain. When your baby cries for an extended period of time, their brain releases toxins that are harmful to your baby. When the baby is alone crying, they have to be scared, confused, mad and terribly sad. You respond to their cries all day and then as soon as 8 pm hits, you're done and they're on their own. Why is that? If you don't want to respond at all hours, get a dog, don't have a child that depends on YOU and only YOU for their comfort and security.

People are told that you can't spoil a baby, but then are told if you don't let them cry, they will be spoiled and extremely needy. Well, guess what, the exact opposite is true! The more you hold and cuddle your baby, the more secure they are and the less they cry. They know that you will be there no matter what, and will be able to come to you if they need something. Sure, you may have to hold your child more often and maybe deal with getting up a few times a night, but isn't it worth it? Isn't your little baby worth it? Isn't your baby worth losing a few hours of sleep to make sure they are secure?

Did you know that some babies don't sleep through the night til closer to 2 or even 3? Yes, that's right, 2 or 3 YEARS old. And that some of the CIO babies still don't sleep despite hours of endless crying and some even throw up? But, those books about CIO tell you that your child is only puking for attention right? If you go in there and actually care about your puking child, you are showing them that they "won". Your baby doesn't care if they "won" or not, they have NO concept of the matter. You have left them in their bed to cry so hard and so long that they have gotten so worked up that they puked. How can that make you feel good about CIO?? The babies who actually do just GIVE UP, have given up on you coming to rescue them from their crying. Do you really want your baby to just give up on you? I know I sure don't. That can't be a good feeling, knowing that your sweet, little baby no longer trusts you to care for their every need. Because that is how it works, you don't respond to them, they lose trust. I know if I called someone every night for a few days and asked them to do something for me and every night they completely ignored me, I wouldn't trust them anymore and would find someone who did answer my calls. Is that how you want your children growing up? Learning to turn to someone, anyone, for comfort instead of you?

When your baby gets up at night and is crying do you know what's wrong or are you going by what some books says is wrong, that they are manipulating you into coming to get them. For all you know your baby is hungry or thirsty or cold or wet or any number of things. But unless you get out of bed to check on them, how will you know? How will you know that your baby is hungry or wet? You won't know and your baby will once again feel alone and forgotten. Is that really how you want your baby to feel? Like you have given up on him?

People are in a rush to wean their babies as well. Did you know that if babies are aloud to self-wean they will do so between 2 and 7? That's right 7. Most other countries let their babies wean when they are ready, not when ever some books says they are ready. Books will tell you that your baby doesn't need to eat at night and they only get up out of habit. Haven't you ever woken up and needed a drink or a snack? I know I have. Babies have much smaller stomachs than ours, how can you expect them to go from 8 pm to 8 am with out waking even once to eat? And books tell you at 6 months to start cutting them off and by 9 months they need nothing. That is cruel to tell a hungry baby, "Sorry, but you're 9 months old so you have to wait til morning." And by not responding to their cries at night, that's exactly what you're telling them.

[matthewscandi]

Jul. 19, 2010 at 9:55 AM

CIO is extremely harmful to a baby's developing brain. When your baby cries for an extended period of time, their brain releases toxins that are harmful to your baby.

It takes more than a baby CIO to have brain and attachment problems. Unless you have FIRST HAND experience with what caused the problems and your not just going off what you heard or read then you really have no idea.

[mommyof2grls06]

Jul. 20, 2010 at 4:49 PM

I have no first hand experience because I would never do something so harmful to my child.

Here is a link about harmful effects.

http://askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

(Original Poster)

[futureshock]

Sep. 6, 2010 at 11:26 PM

I agree about the crying it out technique.  It is horrendous and cruel.

[august_baby_09]

Nov. 4, 2010 at 9:12 PM

it makes me sad to read ur post...i mean i can't believe parents do that to their children. as soon as my daughter cries i go pick her up and find out whats wrong. shes crying for a reason and if people say shes gonna be spoiled later i say oh well at least she won't hate me or not trust me. i am totally against CIO!