Is it about supplements or inflexibility???

[eilenej1]

I'm really big into supplementation, as you may know from various replies I've made.  I supplement with vitamins, minerals, EFA's (fish oil), and probiotics.  And Ryan takes melatonin upon his pedi's recommendation.  I also occasionally give digestive enzymes and amino acids.  A while back DH was concerned with the number of pills the boys take.  I tried to explain that they are not taking that many things, but the minerals takes 4 pills to get the amount and I only give 3.  And that the EFA's take 2 pills.  And the probiotics 2 pills (mainly because it is cheaper and gets them what I want them to have).  At the time he shared his concerns I tried to come to some sort of agreement.  I tallied up what they were taking and told him the ones I thought were most important.  He didn't want to talk about it, just seemed to want it his way and not come to a consensus.  He finally just said to only give them what a doctor recommended.  So I got rid of several supplements I was mainly giving to Luke, mainly amino acids, and reduced some of the other things and tried to find combination pills for the others.  Most of what I kept was recommended by a naturopath based on blood testing for deficiencies.

So this morning he brings it up again.  I have a tendency to over react with conflict and in the past I would say that I think he thinks I'm stupid.  I've been really working on that, but had a slip up last week for something else we talked about.  I did a good job this time though.  I don't think I freaked out.  I tried to talk about it reasonably so that we could try to come to agreement.  He's very against supplementation and I'm very for it.  There's things I'm giving that I'm more willing to stop and some that I would fight for.  I do NOT want to completely stop multi-vitamin and EFA's.  Everything else I can be flexible on, with the agreement that if Ryan's alopecia comes back that he'd need more minerals. 

Now for some background info. Alopecia is an auto immune problem where the person loses hair.  The standard treatment is steroids applied to the scalp.  It didn't work for Ryan, so I found out that the condition is related to low levels of zinc and some other minerals.  Prior to that he had a blood test done that indicated deficiencies in zinc, magnesium, copper and some other minerals.  When I started heavily dosing zinc, with supervision from a naturopath, his hair came back like magic. 

As we were talking this AM I mentioned that I would like to re-start the minerals for Ryan if his alopecia comes back.  DH only wants me to give them something that a doctor specifically recommends for a specific condition and it must be in writing and a prescription.  I told him that the doctor would probably give him the steroid again and that it didn't work.  I also said that he had blood testing that showed deficiencies, but that vitamins and minerals are not prescription based.  If a doctor felt that a supplement is necessary, it would be a recommendation and not a prescription that insurance would cover.  He didn't like that.

So then I specifically asked him if we can try to come to some middle ground on this issue.  Or if one of us has to completely and utterly lose.  He feels like he has been the loser in the deal for the last few years and that now it is my turn (not his words specifically, but that seemed to be the gist of it).  I never specifically said he had to be the loser and I tried to work with him on it.

So that is why I'm devastated.  I've basically been told that it has to be this way and we can't talk about it to come to agreement.  I never told him it had to be just my way.  I've tried to come to agreement, fully realizing that I might not get to give them something I really wanted to give them.  We are completely opposite on this and many other things.  I feel like I'm at a breaking point.  I've been feeling like it for a long time, but it keeps coming back stronger and stronger.  We have a hard time working together.  Partly because I'm pretty sensitive and don't handle conflict well and partly because he's stuck on one way being the right way.  It seems to usually be because that is the way it was when he grew up.

Ugghhh!