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I am friggin lonely....
- Aug 20, 2010 at 9:10 PM
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every month I go through this, and I am sure a lot of it is hormonal. However, the loneliness is most of the time in my life. I went back to work, and I am working with a different teacher, and I am only temporary. I have been at the school for 5 years, and I am not treated very well. I know I should be lucky to have a job but I am just sick of it. So, now I hate my job along with hating my life. I am lonely, I havent been with a man in a very long time. I start thinking about just giving up,and I get very, very angry. I pounded my hand a few days ago, and now I have a bruise. Sometimes, I break things because I get frustrated and angry. I have no health insurance so I cant get any medication. My kids are with their dad, and they are on a nice trip in California, and when they get back, I am not going to hear about it. Their friggin dad NEVER took us anywhere when we were married. I hate him. I am venting but things are NOT looking up, and I hate my life.
Comments:
My heart still hurts too.
The once a month thing really changes your perspective in life....for the few days its around. I like to tune out with a few movies and just ride it out. Those damn hormones make the things wrong in your life seem HORRIBLY wrong.
Take care of yourself. Love yourself first. Eat really well, our emotions are tied to what we eat . Eat good, whole foods. Try to take fish oil pills. Your brain needs them. I have never taken any "meds" and i am doing fine without them.
Get spiritual. Find some time in the AM before you start your day and pray or meditiate...find some time in the day to JUST BE .... breathe and not think about anything in particular, and when you do think:
Think of five GOOD things...Things you are grateful for.....the sun shining , a fresh breeze...healthy kids.... a dog's wagging tail...whatever.
If your job sucks, do what u can to find a new one. Be master of your own ship. Its scary as hell sometimes, but its your life. Do the next thing...and then the next thing after that.
Move on. Accept yourself.
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- Kim370
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