In 20 years

[showmeborn]

I haven't been a teenager for about 20 years now. My girls keep telling me how things have changed in the last 20. How kids are kinder, sex is casual, and cussing it the norm. Even though those things really haven't changed as much as my girls might think (I have dealt with hurt feelings quite a bit, my eldest is known as a tramp for her "casual sex", and I still know parents who use the old fasioned soap in the mouth on their teens), I have noticed things that haven't changed at all.

1. The lines kids give their parents to get out of trouble or to get to do things they really shouldn't get to to. You know the lines, because once upon a time they came out of your mouth. "Other people's parents....." (I have yet to meet parents that let their teens basically do what ever when ever they want, I am beginning to doubt their existance), "Everyone has one" (Everyone?),  and my personal favorite, "My life will be over if..." (That person needs a bit of a reality check.)

2. The "most popular" girl at school got that way by stepping on those below her. The fact is, she isn't so much popular as she is terrifying.

3. The cutest boy in school knows it and is also the biggest jerk.

4. Either you dress cool or you don't. There is no "oh, they have their own style" (that is merely a slam meaning "oh, so you never learned how to dress your self). There is no "Oh, that is so vintage" (that one means, "Oh, so you bought your clothes at the thrift store, I should know, I donated that out fit.").

5. Either  you are cool or you aren't. If you join the chess team,  you are still a nerd. If you smoke and drink openly and don't hide it from the powers that  be, you are still a stoner. If you dress in clothes from discount stores, you are still lame. If you have an acne problem that is out of control then you are still scum that doesn't bathe. If you dress in black and peirce every body part capable of supporting a hole, you are still a freak.

6. Cool kids=Cool parents. Basically, if your child isn't cool then chances are you are at the bottom of the phone calling tree. IF your child isn't the most popular in the school, then chances are you are not the homeroom mother and you do not bring snacks to class. IF your child a "student leader", then chances are if there is crap work to be done, or a committee no one wants to chair, that is the job you "volunteer" for and that is the committee  you "volunteer" to chair.

7. Bad behavior in the parent can bring even the most popular of kids down to the bottom of the High School food chain. Good behavior in the parents makes absolutely no difference.

8. If  you are or have been the least bit different, then you do not fit in, and never will.

9. Kids still believe that their entire existance in life will be dictated by how cool they were in high school.

10. Last, in 20 years, the big fish in the little pond will still be swimming in that same little pond because they couldn't have began to make it in the ocean.

I know some of you might find this offensive. To those I greatly apologize, this is written from the eyes of someone who grew up and went the high school in a little town whose only claims to fame are it's location and it's local religious college. The most popular girl in school made my life a living hell, and the cutest boy in school haunted my very being just by being cute and unattainable. I wasn't a nerd (my 2.8 GPA saw to that. It wasn't that I wasn't smart, it was that I learned early to hide it). I wasn't a stoner (my grandfather woudln't have stood for that). My acne wasn't out of control (my grandmother wouldn't have stood for that). There was no dressing in black and peircing anything other than your ears and if you did you weren't  wearing the jewelry to school (that person would have been sent home to change their attire completely). So basically, my most uncool trait was my inability to fit into a stereo type.

So if your daughter is the most popular, I am sure she is a lovely person and is most popular because of all the friends she has. If your son is the cutest boy in school, then congratulations. I am sure he is wonderful both inside and out.

But, if you are the mother of the nerd, the stoner, the freak or the noboby, then just keep reminding them that one day, they will be thriving in the large pond that is college and that high school will be over before they know it and those popular people will have to face a world where the whole world doesn't love them.

For me, I found the drama team and that was where I truly began to fit in. As for the most popular girl, well, last I heard, she was living in the same small town we grew up in, she is married, fat and has a house full of kids (I guess we finally have a few things in common). Me, well, I escaped that small town and live in...a new small town.

[Krystal.Ingalls]

Aug. 21, 2010 at 2:45 PM

So true.  I love this!  

[Amelora]

Aug. 21, 2010 at 3:15 PM

This is right on the money. I was 'the freak' in high school (I am still somewhat of a freak lol). One thing I realized after leaving high school was although I was a 'loser' and all my friends were 'losers' there were many more 'losers' than popular kids. I had friends and good ones. Friends that were my friends because they liked me and we had things in common. My friends weren't my friends because they were afraid to fall down the social ladder. There was no where left to fall. We had fun and didn't care about the way we looked doing it. Popularity seemed like a lot of hard work with very little pay off - who wanted to be friends with those jerks anyways.

[irishcoffee]

Aug. 22, 2010 at 11:02 PM

I love this!  While much of what you say may be stereo-typical, much more of it is oh so true.  While the world at large may be more enlightened, more accepting, more "tolerant" the world of high school can be a very ugly, very difficult place.  Thank you for sharing this.