Life Update

[mommyonetheedge]

Well, finally started a job (after being unemployed nearly a year and a half).  I hated it at first - there wasn't much to do and when there was stuff to do, I didn't know how to do it - it was really hard on me mentally.  Things are getting better now, more into a groove.  Still have down-time (like now) when there isn't much to do - but I'm getting used to the space and its less uncomfortable.

My divorce is final - and he's aware of it now.  He's completely pissed off because there is court-ordered child support.  He "TOLD ME" not to do that.  - Like I'm going to listen to him - So he's mad.  He wanted to pay me on a "voluntary" basis.  Oh sure - that will work for me.  Right!  So now he acts like an asshole every time I have to see him.  And he can only see our girls at our house - so I have to see him more than I like.  Asshole.

I'm still too fat.  Can't manage to motivate myself to diet at all.  I even take medicine that is supposed to help with motivation and stuff - doesn't seem to be working on me.  I really need to get back down to a normal size.

Still depressed.  Don't know when or how I'm ever going to get over this.  I take 3 different medicines and still can't shake the feelings of loneliness, depression, sadness, despair.  I often just wish I could sleep for days.  Just let life continue on without me for a while.  Like every day is just another repeat that I wish I could go without ya know.  Lather- rinse - repeat.

Well, back to doing some actual work - or looking like i am anyway.

Thanks for reading.  Please leave a comment if you have any advice on how to feel better.

~Brandi

[Brittney20]

Aug. 23, 2010 at 2:46 PM

Im sorry to hear about your divorce, maybe everything will be ok soon. It must be hard on you and your girls. Just remember everything happens for a reason, and God wil never throw more stuff at you than you can handle. Know that you got the best out of ur x husband and that is your girls.. and your girls are beautiful and you are too. Everyone is beautiful...and be thankful you have a job, there are millions that dont. Look at the positive in life..it will help you. I hope your life turns around soon :)