Just a wish....

[MamaZena]

If I could only have a wish....It would be to own my grandparents' house.

  It makes me sad that my Papa and Grama worked their whole lives to make a home the way they always dreamed and now it has to be sold to some stranger.  I understand that they need to move, the house and gorgeous yard are just too much work for them, they are having health problems and should be living closer to a hospital "just in case".  They seem to be alright with selling their home to the highest offer....I just cant stop thinking about it.

I was basically raised by my grandparents, in that house, I was married in that gorgeous backyard, that house means alot to me.

Lately Ive been helping Grama out more, she has been having heart issues and cant do some of the housework and every time I think about how nice it would be to live there.  Yes it is a big house and a big yard, which means alot of work but its so perfect for our family.  The house is about a block from the elementary school that my daughter starts kindergarten at in about 2 weeks, she could walk to school like she wants to.  It has a gigantic, gorgeous yard that my kids and I could have so much fun in. It has 3 bedrooms upstairs, just the right amount for hubby and I, Lili, who already has a room there and one for Dom.  It would have plenty of room for us to grow and be happy.  It does need some updating but is very livable and nicely done.  It has a finished basement which would be perfect to run as a daycare, which I am about to start school for.  Childcare is a much needed thing in my small town and I know it would be successful and something I would love to do.

They've been told that they are asking too much for it and have not had any serious inquiries after about 2 years trying to sell.  My husband and I do not have good credit, although we are working on fixing it, I don't think we would be able to get a loan or mortgage for a house, especially an overpriced one.  Rent to purchase would just be a dream come true but I don't even want to ask them about it because we do owe them money and have for quite awhile.  Also they need the money from the sale of the house to buy their new one, although I suspect they do have a fair amount of money saved and stashed away. 

I haven't even talked to hubby about this because I know it is so far out of our reach.  He has just been working his current job as a sider for a year and although he is very good at it and enjoys it and dreams of having his own company someday, we aren't there yet, haven't even begun saving to make his dream come true.  I am starting a 2 year early childhood education course so alot of our money is going towards that at the moment and even though I am sure I will be a success at whatever I choose to do after school, daycare, teacher, teacher's aide, that is also years to come.

I guess the best would be to just give it up.  Stop wishing.  Stop dreaming.  Stop thinking about it till it makes me sick and brings tears to my eyes.  Its never gonna happen. 

I know Im gonna cry the day that house sells  ;(