LorelNicolette's Journal

Confessions, reflections and rants

Disclaimer:  My intent is not to offend any women out there who may desire vaginal cosmetic surgery.  My main reason for sharing the details of my encounter is so people can see how important it is to question the motives behind why Dr.'s make the recommendations they do. 

After a lot of research and reflection, I decided I wanted to go with the IUD as a form of birth control.  My regular OB wouldn't process the device through my insurance due to past issues with getting paid so I made an appointment with the back up OB from my home birth.    

I had the follow up visit to check the placement of the IUD yesterday morning.  The office was pretty packed, and it took a while for them to call me in.  When it was finally my turn he examined me, and confirmed the IUD was positioned in the right place.  He asked if we were done having kids.  I told him we weren't sure.  After I sat up, he started on about how he saw a couple of relaxed areas on my vaginal wall.  He went on about how he could fix it with a simple procedure that would make me like an 18 year old.  He said that it would be best to wait until after we are done having kids, but that he could do a c-section if we got pregnant after having the work done.  His explanation verbatim, "So that all the work down there doesn't get ruined".  I was disgusted and shocked at how casually he mentioned it all. 

As I sat there scanning the room filled with his advertisements for vaginal rejuvenation, I was reminded of the IUD consult appointment with him the prior month.  He had fit me in the following day to insert the IUD because one of his GYN patients wanted to come in for a consult for his cosmetic services.  Could he have pulled the same spiel on her? 

While driving home, my head was spinning with thoughts on the matter.  Even though I was skeptical, I couldn't help but feel a bit insecure about the whole thing.  I thought back to my two previous birth experiences.  Nothing had happened out of the ordinary with either.  Both were normal deliveries with only superficial tearing.  While I am sure the nature of things down there have changed, the thought of altering my vagina has honestly never crossed my mind! 

After a bit of sorting through the chaos in my brain, it was obvious that this man had used his position as an OB to sell me on his other services.  There is nothing wrong with my body.  The only thing wrong was how he planted that seed of inadequacy in my mind.  I wonder how many other women he has done this to...how many Dr.'s nationwide are doing the same thing to their patients!  Then I became sad...sad because this is yet one more area where women are being convinced by society that our bodies are inadequate without surgery.           

This goes to show that the nature of health care is changing.  It is unfortunate that the well being of the patient is no longer the focus.  It disgusts me that our doubts and insecurities are being cashed in on all in the name of convenience and money.  Next time a medical professional uses their expert status to recommend a course of action that is not medically necessary that they stand to benefit from, stop and ask yourself what the motivation might be. 

Can you think of any other areas of medicine where this happens?

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 10:36 AM

EVERYWHERE!  I was told by a doctor that I needed to lose 70 pounds!  Mind you I am 5'9 and 175 pounds.  If I lose 75 lbs I would be 105 lbs.  EWWWWW.  At 5'9 that is rediculous.  He referred me to his WIFE who was a personal trainer. Thanks but no thanks.  My BMI was always normal, I have perfect blood work, and I have had 3 children- why  would I need to weigh 105 lbs???  When looking futher into it... I noticed that she was just starting out and that she specialized in helping people like me lose an obsene amount of weight.  Sounds good if you need it right?  NO!  2 of her patients ended up in the hospital after 2 months of severe dehydration and starving themselves.... per her orders.  DISGUSTING!

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 10:53 AM

((HUGS)) It is amazing how often crap like this happens. Thanks for sharing.... ((HUGS))

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 10:55 AM

Wow....just wow! I guess you know which OB NOT to use lol.

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 11:19 AM

so he's an OB and a plastic surgeon?! It seems to me that a plastic surgeon will look at the most beautiful and young woman and find flaws that need to be fixed. But an OB? If I were you I'd make some kind of complaint because that just isnt right. We go to the OB to feel safe and secure, getting our female needs addressed, not for cosmetic consultations! He is obviously trying to push his other business through his current clients and I wouldn't go see him again.

The only thing my OB tried to 'upsale' me on was getting my tubes tied which I declined. But that still falls under obstetrics. vaginal rejuvination does not. Is he in practice under other OB's office? I wonder if they know he's performing plastic surgery under their name...

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 11:23 AM

Claimer:  My intention is to offend women who desire vaginal cosmetic surgery, because in scams such as this, it is the victim's own greed and lack of sufficient knowledge that is contributing to the end result.

If women in general would realize once and for all that being a pleasure pod for their lifemates is NOT the highest priority there is, the scam artist "physicians" which you describe would not have such a foothold.  Stories such as the OP has posted are absolutely required for women to be informed enough to avoid victimization, but in addition, the main reason the OP was able to avoid being victimized is because she knew her body, so she knew nothing was wrong with it, no matter what the doctor tried to make her believe.  Eschewing the concept that it's what the man feels during sex that is most important would remove self-doubt and temptation from the equation.

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 12:35 PM

Fisty, I <3 you.

OP, I'm so glad you had enough insight to know that your body is the way it is supposed to be and doesn't need to be "fixed". 

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 12:35 PM

My last GYN appointment, my doctor mentioned that things were a little "loose" down around there, and that if I wanted to tighten those muscles, I should do Kegels. She didn't say it in a demeaning way AT ALL, like it was negative thing, but rather "you've had four children, and that changes the terrain a bit" and that if I wanted to work those muscles, I could. Never was surgery mentioned. Never did she infer that my body was somehow inferior in it's current condition. She mentioned it for my health, not for superficial purposes. 

It amazes me the things that we as women find to feel self-conscious about. But what's worse is the industry built around those insecurities, all in the name of "self-improvement". 

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 1:06 PM

Do you think that mom of 20 kids would consider it? I mean it's like a hot dog down an alley for them.....         I am so kidding.

Cosmetic surgery will never take place on my body, especially not my vagina!!!

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 1:20 PM

What disgusts me is how they come into it all as if they are helping you in some way. "Oh you poor woman who did what her body is made for and had children. Now you can't please your husbands cock as much because it's a smidgen looser. We better fix that so you can have the vag of an 18 year old instead of a 20 or 30 something grown woman. It'll be better this way. You'll feel much better when we synthetically alter your womanly parts to look like you never even birthed your children." Ugh.

We should be told how amazing, wonderful and strong we are for doing what we do. We should be honored and held high, we should be told how beautiful and perfectly womanly we are because of the things we do. This is what our bodies are meant for, THIS is what makes us a woman...NOT A TIGHT VAGINA. UGH. Besides there ARE ways to tighten things without cutting parts of it out. I'm sorry your doctor made you feel the way he did Lorel. I'm sure your vagina is beautiful, teehee :) I'm also sure your husband still appreciates it just as much, if not MORE because it also birthed his children that he loves.

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Aug. 27, 2010 at 1:25 PM

My OB recommended that I consider getting a hysterectomy because my uterus had fallen into my vagina just a little. He said there was nothing to do for it and if it continued to bothering me when I had sex or I start to get severe cramping that a hysterectomy should be considered. I told my mom and she said "That's bullshit. Your aunt had the same thing and they pushed it back into place." So, I talked to my regular doctor and she also agreed with me that it didn't sound right. She told me that some conditions can't be corrected, but she said it sounded like mine is correctable without surgery or a hysterectomy.She suggested I get a second opinion with another OB and she is giving me a recommendation to another one.  Now hearing how she said my OB is giving me bad info. I wonder if him putting me on birth control pills was a good idea. He said I needed them because he couldn't control my period and there was no other course but BC.   :(

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