on Nov.2 i found out i was pgt with my child i was 17 yrs old i was still in school i was aleast 3 credits away from graduating but i ended up really sick so i had to stay home i was staying with my grandmother she was not really clean and her ciggies smoke made it alot worst for me my dad stay there with me off and on my mom left me when i 16 when i was staying the summer with dad she thought i wasn't coming back so she left with some man she met through a friend my mom and dad were not together because my dad cheated on my mom with his step cousin but anyways so i found out was having a baby the only thing that made this not good is the father was 30 yrs i thought he really loved me yet i found out it was bs he was also my dads best friend/drug suppler he at time was with someone but told he me would leave her he did leave her later so i kept this from dad till i was aleast 7 months but during that time i was really falling apart i ended staying with my brother when my grandmother lost It a hit me in the face because i wouldnt give her a letter my dad wrote to me so i ended leaving and staying with my brother yet they ended moving to brandy and well is fathers gf thought i was a slut so ended staying with my mom and her best friend she had left that man to be with me so then i ended leaving and moving with my dad to killeen yet he didnt yet had a place went to hotel to truck for a while then they approve us for one for a while we didn't have electric it was cold then as the days went my baby father came to see me then ended up that he went to jail for drug dealing and ended moving in with a friend of his  but come to found he was cheating on me with her so i left broken hearted and move back with my dad my dad at  the time was a drug addicted and so the hoes of k town came in out of there we finally had to leave and ended staying with is uncle and there my mom and her best friend took me back in i stayed till i had my baby then i got in fight with her daughter she sent me awa to my dads again dread it because i feared my life the last time i lived with him it was pretty great even my mom was there i was pretty happy then my dad got caught with bounty hunters and so he lost his job so off we went with his mother which my grandma then i decide to leave with a man i didn't even know he abused and soon saved up money and ended with my mom in Georgetown there thats where i lost my son the druggie next door lied about me my mothers friends were lying and my grandmother lyied about me also they said i had manger depression problems and couldnt keep him i came up positive twice for coke and wat really was crazy about that is i knew what it did to my dad my baby father i hated the shid it teared my family apart so here was a druggie never touched the shid then i found out later that every time i was at my mothers house i came up positive with coke it came to me it was her bf so i got kicked out of her house i ended with my grand mother there i tried to get together but every time i tried to my grandmother said it was waste u wont get him just give up she made me late for every appointment which was marks against me so i finally left her got my own place had a job and finish everything i needed to to get my son back yet when i went to the meeting to decide they said i was to late that i choice to do the court thing or give him to family so aleast i could be in his life i didnt want to lose him forever so chose family what people didnt want him to help the others were denied i felt like my life was over i felt like they trick me and they did i didnt know what was going all i could think was aleast i would get to see him grow up it didnt happen that way i had no family support through this and now its been six years i still cry when its his birthday hes 6 now july 6 2004 is his birthday i truly loved him with all my heart he was my first child i cant even get close to my other  son who is 1 im sooo scared he will be ripped out my arms to im married now but i think i will never get over this my husband saids to let it be it is what it is i cant i went through 4 yrs of depression cutting trying to end it im bipolar they say i think it more then that i think alotof this happen because my son was half black deep in my heart my grandmother didnt want me to have him because of this the rest my spanish family was the same my so i have now is too but hes more white which express that aww his hair not going be nappy and his skin color is so pretty so anyways thats my story


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