-
I feel so sorry for teachers. (language)
- Sep 4, 2010 at 5:56 PM
- By
- Comments (27) Total Views (997) Everyone can see this journal post.
Early in my career, I taught high school students. I am normally critical of some of the garbage I see coming out of today's schools; however, I have been disgusted by so many of the posts I have seen since school started. People question why our students are doing poorly in comparison to students from other countries. We question why the drop out rate is so high. I have heard over and over that "teachers should teach better." After some of the recent posts, my heart goes out to most of today's educators. I won't say all because there are some who should not be in the profession, but that applies to all professions.
I have seen some of the most ridiculous complaints. "That damned teacher moved my kid and he was sitting by his best friend." "I am pissed because the teacher gave my kid a homework assignment to ask me questions. How dare she do that! It is none of her damned business what my favorite color is." "OMG, I cannot believe that teacher expects my kid to carry that heavy book." "My kid has to walk to school and the teachers should not expect her to carry notebooks home to do homework." "Another kid said something to my child and the teacher just said she would handle it. I am marching up to that school in the morning and demanding that she tell me exactly what she did to that other little brat." "I sent the teacher an email this morning and have not gotten a reply. She has had 2 hours. If I don't get a response in 10 minutes, I am calling the school board." "My kid is in band and that stupid director won't let me get in the stands and take pictures for his baby book. It won't take but a few minutes. After all, I pay his salary." "The assistant principal called my kid in and asked him about what happened on the bus. How dare he have a meeting with my kid before telling me. I should be there any time they speak to my kid."That stupid teacher gave my kid an "F" on an assignment. Sure, she always makes those mistakes, but it is only the second week of school"
I assure you, I have seen variations of each of these statements in recent posts with one exception. I chaperon our local high school band and we have trouble getting some parents to understand why they can't disrupt the band while they are playing. I added that statement to those I have seen in posts because it is a personal pet peeve
I wish parents would stop to think that every little item that a teacher has to respond to takes them away from our children. The time and energy it takes to respond to frivolous complaints means less time to teach our children. Please don't get me wrong. I firmly believe that each parent has a duty to be the advocate for his/her child; however, PLEASE stop and think about your complaint. Is this something you should let your child attempt to handle? Is it really a complaint that needs to be voiced? Is the force of your response equal to the situation? The vast majority of situations do not justify a complaint to the superintendent or school board. The majority of complaints made to the school board or superintendent are simply sent back down the chain to the level where they should have been addressed in the first place.
Get involved in your child's school. Introduce yourself to your child's teacher before a problem arises. Don't jump to the conclusions. At open house, I used to tell parents that I would only believe a fraction of things their children said about them if they would return the favor. That normally got a chuckle, but stop and think about that. You might think that your child would never talk about things that go on in your home, but you would be AMAZED what kids talk about when you are not around. Teachers hear it all. I used to volunteer in the classroom when my sons were in elementary school. Little kids talk about mom's new boyfriend. They talk about how dad was too busy taking a shower with gf to help with homework. They mimic the sexy way mom acts when bf is around. Teachers hear about the fights you have with your SO or how you got drunk, etc. Teachers have to make continual judgements about what they hear and if the comments deserve a referral to CPS. When I taught, two comments merited referral to the police and one to CPS. Other situations were handled in house. Please, don't jump to conclusions. Most teachers hear things you would be very embarrassed to know they hear.
Getting involved in the child's school can happen in a number of ways. Of course, there is the PTO. I have heard complaints that the PTO is just the same group of parents. While I readily admit that some PTOs seem closed because it is a group used to working together, you can make your willingness to volunteer known. Ask the teacher if there is anything you can do to help in the classroom. The teacher might ask you to do something simple like cut out figures for a future assignment or help collect pictures from magazines for a future collage project. One of my son's teachers asked for parents who could come and listen to the children read. I know that not all parents have time off from work to do that, but if you do, it is a wonderful experience. I used to listen to kids read and help with math one on one. If you have a special skill, the teacher might love it if you come and make a presentation to the class. A lot of parents think that is limited to parents who are firemen, doctors, etc. I gave a presentation on cake decorating and it was a huge hit. With the teacher's permission, I made each child a cupcake and prepared a decorating bag for each of them to decorate their own cup cake at the end of the demonstration. One parent demonstration I remember from my middle school days was a presentation on Mexican foods. Some moms came and taught us about making home made tortillas. Some jewish parents gave a presentation on Hebrew when we studied different religions in high school. Schools have field days where parents make sure the class gets water and keeps an eye out for kids who look a little too hot. Field trips require chaperons. Parent involvement is actually more important as kids get into middle and high school. All of those book fairs require parent volunteers. High school bands require tons of volunteers. We do everything from feeding the kids meals before away games and contests to making sure water bottles are filled to helping load and unload equipment. The list of volunteer opportunities goes on and on....You don't have to have tons of time to volunteer. You might be able to only volunteer for an hour shift at the school carnival.
I want to let you in on a little secret. I have heard parents say they don't volunteer because their child does not want them at school. Bull. I once told my older son that I would not volunteer if he would be embarrassed because I am over weight. The phrase "What you don't understand is..." preceeds many of my words of wisdom to my kids. My son quickly replied, "Mom, what you don't understand is that my friends are jealous. Their parents are NEVER there and they know you are." My younger son is a senior and got upset when I said I might not volunteer. He wants me there and my arthritic knees and I are there.
I encourage you to be part of the solution instead of just complaining about every little thing that happens. An average middle or high school teacher has 120 students. I had about 150. Think about the number of emails a teacher has to deal with each day. When I chaired the teacher appreciation committee, I was in and out of the teacher's lounge all of the time. I remember one poor teacher who had a parent who emailed her about 10 times a day. If there is a legitimate concern, email. If not, don't. PLEASE think before you complain. Please keep in mind that the overwhelming number of complaints do not need to go to the superintendent or principal.
Hope you all have a good year.
Comments:
I agree. There are so many ways to be involved. I have gone through the my kids books as they have out grown them. I want to keep some for my future grand kids, but I have donated the others to the library or to individual teachers' class libraries. Parents can ask their employers to donate supplies to the school. There are just so many ways to volunteer.
Great post! PARENTS need to teach better, IMO :) It's a struggle for most of us.
Terrific post - you hit the nail on the head. I agree with science spot, but I also think PARENTS need to parent better then the teacher's job would be less about teaching character and meeting the child's basic needs, but about the actual job of teaching our kids.
Totally agree.
Like :)
I read your post. What you are putting up about parents that are gripping about - that isn't my problem with the teachers. In our area, they play favoritism. I know that I have seen it. I am not saying that my kids are prefect and NEVER get into trouble, they are kids and they think of some off the wall stuff to get into. However, I think that the teachers could handle things better than what they are. Like if they are going to punish one child and not the other for doing the same thing - they need to punish the other child. I know this isn't happening in our schools, because I seen it. So my kids are home schooled now. I have done it for their safety. They have a learning center that they attend twice a week to get help that I can't give them. They have excelled since they have been taken out of public schools. Granted, teachers can only do so much when they don't know how to control a class room. Maybe they should give up teaching if they can't control the students. I know some students do what they want to and that is on the parent.
Very, VERY good post. As a secondary special education teacher for the last 10 years, I've seen all of what your post describes. Those with the biggest (or most nit picky!) complaints are usually the ones who spend the least amount of time involved with the school and classroom and therefore know the least about how decisions get made. Teachers do NOT individually select textbooks so it is absurd to blame her for your child having to carry a heavy book. Parents involved with their schools would know that. As far as classroom discipline goes, every school I've ever worked at implements a school-wide discipline procedure. That means the teachers may see and WANT to use a different technique to manage rule breaking in their class, but they can't because they are expected to use the procedure their administration tells them to use. If a teacher is struggling with discipline in her class, it isn't always that she is unable to handle the kids effectively. Parents believe the teacher has a lot more autonomy in her classroom that actually exists. If the parets were more active on the school campus, they would better see how those decisions REALLY get made.
So true. I don't have a chance to volunteer in the class, but I try to help out how ever I can for my son and like to talk to his teacher and my daughters teacher.
Thank you for this post. As a teacher I am really frustrated by so many of the posts here on CM. Some moms seem to forget that schools are full of other children. Schools can't and shouldn't cater to the needs and wants of just one child.
"You might think that your child would never talk about things that go on in your home, but you would be AMAZED what kids talk about when you are not around."
This is my favorite part of the post. If parents realized what their kids said about them at school they wouldn't be so quick to believe every word of what they say about what happens at school. It seems like the kids who go and home and complain about the school the most are the same ones who complain about home to the teacher.
Already a member? Click here to log in
Hear! Hear!
Great post! I have volunteered often with many teachers, PTO functions, field days, science fairs. Being there in person makes a huge difference all around.
- RedRowan
Message Friend Invite