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Iv'e been thinking about so much lately...
- Sep 15, 2010 at 11:50 AM
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- Comments (7) Total Views (167) Everyone can see this journal post.
Wow.. I dont even know where to start... I have a husband and 3 kids.. Neither Cory and I have good careers, we struggle everyday with money, and this just sucks!! I stress all the time.. I love my husband with all my heart, I love my kids with all my heart, but still yet, I dont feel happy!! Why?? I don't know. I can't answer that question.. This surgery i'm fixing to have makes me so sad. I dont think I want to have another child, but what if Cory and I are financially stable 5 maybe 10 years on down the road, and we decide we wanted to have another baby? Well, my tubal could have been reversed, and now with this surgery, thats not even an option. I'm scared... I HATE not being able to support my kids the way I should. I can't always get them that $5 dollar toy they see at walmart, or a freakin happy meal b/c sometimes we have NO MONEY! I hate having to borrow money from people, hate it. I just feel that at the age of 27, Cory and I should have good careers by now, a nice home instead of a duplex, 2 nice cars instead of 1, I mean, we SHOULD be doing better than we are. Cory had that great job at the city and then got fired, it's been a struggle every single day since then. I just feel for kids, I dont feel like i'm a good enough mom, and it sucks. I don't really know what to say or how to say it, I just wanted to vent. There is SO MUCH going on in my life right now.. so much. Ugh. I can't wait to start school in the spring, well, atleast, im going to try and start school. I hope that I am able to get grants and scholarships to be able to do this, because without those, there will be no school for me! Starting school and getting a great career in nursing, will be better for my family. I'm doing it for them. Anyhow... to whomever reads this. Thank you. I'm just venting really. Hopefully one day I can be happy again! :)
for reading!!
Comments:
You silly girl... we all feel that way sometimes... like we are not making a difference! Your kids think that you are the smartest, greatest mom, and they are right. Now smile! Just walk each day out and know that everything happens for a reason (only wish we knew what it was sometimes! LOL) you will get pass this stage just fine... hold on tight to your family, tell them you love them everyday! You will see it will get better!
I keep telling myself that I finally decided to go to the doctor for a reason ( I had put the pain off for SOOOO long) and then I went, and now i'm fixing to have my 2nd surgery.. what the heck?? lol. And then like the car wreck that Cory had the day after my surgery!! We are down to 1 car now!! I tell myself all the time that things happen for a reason, but I REALLY can not figure out WHY the car was totalled! lol.. Seriously, hubbs has to rely on rides all the time now so... I havent figured out the reasoning behind that one yet! I would like to thank yall for the kind responses to my post.. Sometimes it really just helps to vent and get things out in the open. I cant talk to Cory about the surgery, I tried, and he just doesnt understand my feelings!! I do have faith that things will get better and that one day we will be on our feet, I guess I just get down about it sometimes!!
Sometimes life is harder than what we think it should be... we get disappointed and feel cheated... But you have your boys and your husband you are together and your safe, not alway convenient... but some day you will look back and say... "We made it through some really rough times because we stuck together" You can make it I have faith in you!
Hugs, Chrissy. I know it's hard, but try to think about the positive. Your kids don't need $5 toys from Walmart. They don't need Happy Meals. You'll be able to afford things some day. You have to buckle down now, but you're learning and growing from this difficult experience.
I'm sorry you have to go through a surgery, but hopefully you'll feel better once it's done.
I completely relate to alot of what you said in your journal. I hope things get better for you soon. Please feel free to message me if you ever want to talk. 
(((hugs)))
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I am sorry you are going through a tough time right now. Please don't feel like your not a good enough mom. The main thing is you are doing the best you can, and that is what matters the most. You are taking the steps to better yourself and your family, so you should feel good about that. Just take one day at a time, and hopefully soon enough things will change for the better.
- Kellyjude1
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