I read something someone wrote about there life with a invisible chronic condition... It touched me in ways that I didnt even realize. The analogy of having a pebble in your shoe and you try to walk differant or shift your foot to avoid stepping on it spoke volumes. Living with hypothyroidism is just that. Its invisible, most people wouldnt even know you have it unless it came up in conversation. You dont vomit or look sick. You dont lose enough of your hair to go bald. And yes its like that pebble in your shoe that you try to just deal with the best that you can. If you hurt you take tylenol or motrin, but the pain doesnt usually respond. If your tired you take a nap, but you still wake up tired. Your hair falls out and gets coarse, you change shampoos and condition with some of the best conditioners to make it vibrant again. You gain weight, you try to count your calories and cut where you can in order to lose it but it just doesnt come off. You try to control your moods but well thats just hard. You try to enjoy the love making that your relatinship much needs but its like a chore and you get very little pleasure from it. Then there is the depression that you just cant kick. You want to be happy and enjoy the lives of those around you. But your just so blah. You try to live with these pebbles the ones that no one knows are there. They tell you to count your calories if you want to lose weight. Drink coffee to keep up your energy. But they just dont see the pain and the agony you deal with just to stay active. Life with hypothyroidism isnt what I thought it was gonna be. When i was first diagnosed I was determined that it wasnt going to be an "illness" but it is. I cant accept it. Im to young to be "ill". My kids are to young for there mom to be "ill". I just cant accept that if i take my kids to the zoo today we will probably only stay an hour because my legs and feet with fill with unbearable pain and tomarrow I will barely be able to walk.. My kids deserve more. This is definatly not the way I envisioned my stay at home mom days.... My poor kids pretty much accustomed to mommy needing a mid day nap.. What am I gonna do when my youngest no longer naps? I depend on her to nap I really do. If she naps it means Im able to. I envisioned days of running to gymnastics and soccer and dance and swimming and whatever else we could fit into our days.. But it just isnt like that..

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Sep. 18, 2010 at 12:30 PM

or jsut keeping the house clean can set off my dumb asathma      so I hear ya Prayers

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