Hi Everyone..  As my post reads, I am traveling down this sad road again....

 My story begins back in August of 2009.. I lost a baby boy,.he died in utero due to a condition in his stomach called Gastroschesis..This condition is where, (if the baby survives), the intestines are exposed,and the baby would have immediate surgery after birth to correct it.  Unfortunately, my guy didn'r survive, I delivered him stillborn at almost 20 weeks. i can honestly say that that was THE worst experience of my life.  I've never felt so heartbroken and grief stricken..

Thankfully, the dark clouds disappeared, and the sun returned this past January..I found out I was expecting again.  We were so overjoyed--me, my husband and seven year old daughter..I was having a wonderful pregnancy, I had no complications, had a few ultrasounds and  saw the doctor pretty frequently..I was even taken ot of the "high risk" category..

For unknown reasons, on May 31st, this past Memorial Day, I started contracting.  I went to the hospital, and was 8cm dialated..I was rushed into an emergency c-section, and delivered a healthy, 1 lb, 12oz baby boy..He was 26 1/2 weeks gestational age (almost seven months)..  Unfortunately, due to his prematurity, he only lived 12 hours in the NICU..

I've buried two baby boys how..I guess since some time has passed, I'm starting to heal from this heartbreak..I know it's been a few months since this has happened, I've just been too upset/distraught  to write about it.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my story....

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Comments:

ErinH...
Sep. 19, 2010 at 1:14 AM

I'm truly sorry for you loss. I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through. I fear for my children every day and I can say that losing either of them is my worst nightmare. You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope that someday you will be blessed with a beautiful and healthy baby once again. Not to replace the little ones you have lost, but to help fill in the hole in your heart just a little bit. My friend has a group for SIDS mommies on facebook, but they welcome anyone who has lost a child. They are a great support to one another and I'm sure they would love to talk with you. Sometimes (I have been told) it helps to talk to those who truly understand. I will send you that link if you want. God bless you. {{{HUGS}}}

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Lb128f
Sep. 19, 2010 at 2:06 AM

I'm sorry.

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natur...
Sep. 19, 2010 at 8:03 PM

Thank you both for your heartfelt condolences, and for taking the time to read my journal..  Erin, I would love the facebook link..thank you so much!!  Hoping that time will heal.

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Hsalmons
Sep. 20, 2010 at 11:46 AM

I am truly sorry for the loss of your two children!!! There are no words that I can say except I have some what walked in your shoes. I lost my little boy 2 yrs ago today at 24 weeks of gestation due to preeclampsia! The heartache that you feel will never go away but one day I believe GOD will bless you again. It's hard when we are going thru such agony and not being able to look ahead to the future but my hope is that those clouds will part again and you will have another child and this one be healthy and you are healthy as well!

Have you ever thought about getting in contact with any one that has lost a child or children? I found that when my son died I reached out to every single person that I could and talk! That is the best medicine I have found, is talking about it! These are your children! You have to keep their spirit alive! We talk about our son all the time! We only had 11 days with hm. He too was born at 1 lb 2 oz. He was our little fighter! You just have to know in your heatt that GOD had other plans for them and you! Take care of yourself and i hope that your heart will heal!

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