My SIL has two little girls, ages 11 and 12.  They live in Canada and we live in the midwest, so we see each other only rarely.  Our philosophies are very different, and I have even talked to my SIL before about the fact that I do not feel she is truly dedicated to her children.  For instance, the last time we visited, she spent most of her time on the computer, barely acknowledging her girls when they came home.  For most of their lives, she and the girls have lived with my In-laws.  They, not she, have done most of the parenting of the girls.  About a year ago, my SIL re-united with the girls' father after about ten years of separation.  Because they were so young when their parents separated, the girls did not know their father at all.  He had no desire to be in their lives and they had never even met him.  We were all flabbergasted when they reunited as it came out of the blue and we had no idea that they had been in any kind of contact.  We were very concerned as well, for his history was not a good one.  He had been involved in drugs-even doing jail time for selling some.  My In-laws noticed that he was very friendly with the girls in church even within the first few weeks he came to live with them: holding their hands, sitting very close and etc.  My SIL became very offended when my in-laws expressed their concern that his touch might be inappropriate.  It created, in fact, such a rift that they all ceased to speak with each other.  It's been a year, and we just found out Friday that he has been molesting the girls, especially the 11 year-old.  He is in jail, and the police are continuing to build a case against him by investigating a couple other families he lived with.  I am furious with my SIL for her stupidity in re-uniting with  a scuzzy loser guy that she was far better off without.  She chose his companionship over the safety of her children and the price is a horrible one.  I have been sick to my stomach about this since Friday, I just can't stop thinking about it.  I simply cannot comprehend how a man can repeatedly rape a child, especially his own daughter.  If you have personally experienced something like this or you are a social worker with experience regarding child abuse, I would appreciate your input.  I would like to send the girls a package with some gifts and perhaps a book that might be helpful to help the girls heal.  If anyone has suggestions along these lines, I'd appreciate it.  If you're a praying person, I'd appreciate that as well.  Thanks so much.

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Sep. 27, 2010 at 11:25 PM

I'm so sorry for what your family is going through, especially the girls. That's an unbelievably horrible thing that no one should have to deal with. I wish I had some ideas for the package, but I'm at a loss. I will be praying for them, though.

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Sep. 27, 2010 at 11:30 PM

Have the girls come live with you if you can.

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Sep. 28, 2010 at 12:12 AM

I agree with mykidsmom4ever, sounds like these girls will be far better living with you. If you can do it, then do it.

I will be praying for them, so sorry to hear that. Some people are just sick.

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Sep. 28, 2010 at 8:20 AM

prayers  fpr everyone

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Oct. 11, 2010 at 1:09 AM

Wow. Those little sweet girls that were in your wedding? The ones with the flowers in their hair? Where can I find the jail that man is in?

Yeah, that's pretty much all I've got- violence- but I'll give you a call after I do some thinking about the care package. That's a good question. And... I'd probably concentrate really, really hard on offering their mom- as completely and maddeningly irresponsible as she sounds to be- some support as well. She is probably feeling terrible, and even if she isn't, she has to have people she trusts to turn to if anything like this were to happen again- you want her to trust you. If she trusts you, she'll be more apt to listen in future.

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