6th Annual Happy No More Cancer Day!

[SelaCarsen]

Woohooo!!!

This is a fun anniversary! DH is taking me out to lunch. Of course, he’s forgotten that it’s NMC Day, but what the heck. I like any reason to have lunch with him.

So, 6 years. I have to admit, some of the memories have faded. The shock of learning that I had cancer is just a memory. I know that at the time it felt like someone had punched me, but now…it’s muted.

Now I laugh about how I had to comfort the nurse who told me over the phone because she thought I’d received the letter her office had sent. The timing was messy all around. We were still stationed in the UK when I had my regular Pap smear in June and they found an irregularity, so I had to go in for further poking and prodding. But I had that second appointment the day that the movers came to pack us out for our move to South Carolina.

One month later and DH and I were sitting in the kitchen — and I say sitting only because we’d finally gone out and purchased stools for the bar. None of our furniture had arrived yet and we were all sleeping on inflatable mattresses and eating on a card table I’d borrowed from one of our new neighbors.

Anyway, I get this phone call and the nurse on the other end asks (and this is paraphrased) “Did you get the letter where we tell you you have cancer?”

“Umm, no.”

“OMG! I’m so sorry! I thought you knew!”

I mean, the poor woman was a wreck! So instead of a quick, sharp descent into horror, I got sidetracked to make her feel like less of a heel. In retrospect, it was probably a good thing. Anything to head off that heedless tumble into my own nightmare, you know?

Two months and one cone biopsy later, I was in the hospital — loopy from some really fun pain meds — when the doctor came in and told me that the clump of cells that had caused my family such upheaval were all gone, along with my cervix and uterus.

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I had slept all day and couldn’t stay in bed for another minute, so I got up to wander the halls of the women’s health wing of the hospital. And as I walked, I passed other rooms with open doors and lights on in the middle of the night. I passed women who weren’t as fortunate. Women whose cancer hadn’t been caught as early, or who didn’t respond to treatment or surgery. Women who were dying.

And I went back to my room and cried and cried like I hadn’t been able to cry for myself. But inside, where no one could see it. Real tears upset everyone too much. But my heart broke that night.

I got off easy. I know that. No chemo, no radiation. A couple of snips here and there and I was back to normal. So in some ways, it feels like a cheat to say that I survived cancer. Not when I see what it’s done to other people. But I did. And once a year, I remember and say a prayer of thanksgiving.

So celebrate with me! Happy No More Cancer Day!!

[Lb128f]

Sep. 30, 2010 at 4:05 AM

Very good!! I'm glad you are here to celebrate!! You definitely beat it!! Hope you had a great day out!

 

[SelaCarsen]

Oct. 1, 2010 at 7:09 AM

Had a lovely day out. Thanks for dropping by!

(Original Poster)