I am 34 wks on Weds wow!! (today is Monday) I can not believe how much time has passed since I found out we were being blessed with our twins. Our 3yr anniversary was Sunday. So much has happened to us since we said I do that's for sure!! We've moved a few times, struggled with infertility/miscarriage, lost some very dear family members, made some amazing friends, bought our first house, and now it's almost time to meet our twin babies!!
I'm so excited and so nervous. I had a L&D trip last wk and was already one cm dialated and having regular contractions. Went through the whole ambulance transfer to St Lukes and everything!! It was a bit scary but a false alarm thank gosh! Since then though I have been in some pain like I have never felt in all of my life!! I hurt all over and nothing makes it go away. I know that's to be expected with two babies getting bigger and bigger in there but whoa!! If I myself could've gone back in time to tell myself 8 months ago how bad this would hurt I still wouldn't have believed it! My pelvic bone feels like it's on fire and as if I was just hit by a train! When I stand up the weight of my son's head pushing down and his sister pushing him further down makes me feel weak in the knees almost and like he's gonna come tumbling out at any second!! It's really all I can do to inch around the house everyday. I have contractions all day as well and the med they gave me does nothing for pain relief.
I know I am almost at the end of this amazing journey but the pain is definitely a downer for me emotionally as well as physically. I know they need all the time in the womb they can get but I won't lie and say that I wouldn't have them tomarrow if I knew for sure they'd be healthy!! At 34 wks I'm passed the point of stopping labor or giving steroids for there lungs but I know I really need to get them past 36 wks. I want this delivery to be so different then Cameron's. I want them to come home with me and to experience a 2-3 day hospital stay getting to know them and not walking across the children's hospital to go to the NICU everyday. The only thing worse than one baby in that terrible place is two babies in it!!!!
I am telling myself everyday that I just HAVE to keep chuggin along no matter how bad it hurts, no matter how bad I want to be off bedrest, no matter how bad I want this pregnancy to be over so I can slowly get my life back. Their health is waaaaaay more important to me then my physical comfort. It would be so awesome if my doc can give me something at my appt tomarrow to give me some relief and help me in my goal of 37wks!! I would love to get past the "safe" 36 wk date and have these babies around Oct 26th which is one day shy of 37 weeks. Then if i deliver vaginally, which I also hope to God I get to, I can be home with two sweet babies in time to watch my son enjoy Halloween. Looking at their things and preparing for them brings me such joy. I can not wait to hold them and for Chad and Cameron to meet them too. This is one of the most amazing things that will ever happen to us and I am so so thankful.
Just gotta hang in there a little while longer!! I can do this!! I can totally do this so my babies will be safe and can start their lives off in the best and healtiest way possible!! The next journal I write will be my happy amazing twin birth story!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!!!