Wish I could move away

[Firsttimemom252]

I am so sick of my all life here and wish I could move away.I am 25 years old and single mother to a 2 year old.I lost my job in june after being there for 4 years going on 5 if I was still there this Oct.I am living back at home with my parents and have to listen to them tell me what I should be doin with my son like I haven't been a mother for 2 years now.My car is broke down and nobody isn't tryin to fix it.I have no friends and single with nobody to help me out.My son father is living his life in fl.I would love to move away and start a new life with my son but I don't know if I would be able to be away from my family.

[sunmoonstars071]

Oct. 9, 2010 at 12:20 PM

That is an awful situation.  It's nice that your parents are helping you out, but on the other hand it gives them the opportunity to be critical.  Can you work?  Maybe borrow a car from your parents so you can work, and get your car fixed, then maybe move out?  Good luck to you.

[VexAzn]

Oct. 9, 2010 at 4:43 PM

Been in a similar situation back when I was a single mom.  Our apartment had burnt down, so my son & I lost everything, including our only ride, all of his toys, etc.  He was about 4-5yrs old then.  I have no family in the area (let alon in the USA) other than his deadbeat dad & grandparents, whom were also questionable and we didn't really get along...  Anyways, my son & I ended up sharing a bed together in his grandparents' house for about a month.  Hubby & I were seeing each other *not yet married* and he lived overseas, so that just added to the awkwardness of the situation.  Let's just say Grandma was a pain in my azz, and it didn't matter what I did *like pay my share of the bills, use phone cards for phone calls, job hunt, etc* - she always made sure to bitch about something I did or I was doing.  After a  month and especially when Grandma decided to try and interfere with parenting and try to turn my son into HER son, we moved out.  Grandpa was upset about the whole thing & wished I didn't leave on such short notice, & that his wife didn't piss me off so much but that's another story...

Here's how I got out of that hell hole, so maybe it can help you too:

- Apply at the welfare office for:  food stamps (got about $350 per month), cash assistance (roughly $250 a month), heating assistance (free fuel oil), car assistance ($750 towards repair or down pmt), $250 in work/interview clothes.

- Found a job that paid a little more than minimum wage but it was in the next town.  Next I needed a ride & a place to stay.  In the meantime, grandma grumbled and gave me a ride to work.

- Found a small car dealership that sold me an old Plymouth Acclaim for $1000.  I used $750 from welfare's vehicle assistance, so really the car only cost me my cash assistance money.  That car ended up lasting me for about 4 to 6yrs before its engine finally gave out.

- Found a mobile home for rent on a land of its own, not in some trailer park... at a really cheap price of $200 a month, with a very understanding landlord who sympathized with me about first dealing with a fire, then dealing with the in-laws *gradnma* who should've been more helpful/civil for their grandson's sake.  He was ok with me paying what I could when I could, which usually meant half at the 1st of the month, & the other half halfway thru the month until I got a more steady income (work).

- Got free beds from The Good Shepherd, a local church that also kept a stash of stuff for the needy.  Often they'd host yard sales to sell stuff that people have donated, and then the money goes towards the church and other charitable stuff.  So not only did we get some clothes from them, but the beds too - all free.

- I was able to get a sofa & 2 recliners for $2 at a yard sale.  Not to mention tons of dishes and stuff, so I spent under $10 for most of the basic necessities.

Of course, some of the stuff *like everyday clothes & a few toys* we were also able to get from generous folks in town and from my son's classmates/parents, who had a genuine interest in helping us after the fire, unlike his grandparents...

You'll be amazed at some of the church members and what they'll offer to do for you as well, even if you don't go to that church.  When I was pregnant & single, I was able to obtain free Jenny Lind baby furniture set this way.  There are many wonderful people out there who still DO exist and will help with what they can, when they can, you just need to find a way to reach out to the right people.

So anyways, try the welfare office and see what kinds of programs they have to offer.  They usually can point you in the right direction, especially when you ask about who you can talk to about getting work/income, getting a place *even if it's a shelter - if your parents are that annoying to you*, etc.  Check out the salvation army for handouts/freebies too.  There might be local churches in your area that has a stash of charitable stuff to help, such as beds for when you move, etc.  Yard sales also help for cheap furniture & dishes, but mostly the biggest thing is to get a job or some form of income.

Malls and other places will start to have more part-time or temp jobs available with the holidays coming up and especially with Black Friday on the way... Plus you might be able to get a discount too so that helps.  Take advantage of your county's job center; they should assign you a job counselor who will find out your qualifications & let you know of jobs before they've been posted in the paper or online.  Don't forget to try for civil service/local gov't jobs, the paperwork might suck but that's what your counselor's for.  Those jobs pay good money with great benefits.  Even a secretarial position can make double the minimum wage (or more) per hour when it's a civil service position.

You could also go back to school; depending on what you choose, the gov't may have money to fork out to you that will more than pay for your education, which means $ in your pocket.  I think they did this for teaching jobs but there may be other types that qualify too.

Good luck with everything; I'm sure it'll all turn out for you.  Just don't lose hope or focus.

[Firsttimemom252]

Oct. 9, 2010 at 4:52 PM

I get food stamps and they go up this month.I get WIC also.I just got work first and they give you a check every month until you get a job

(Original Poster)