Miscarriage...

[haileysmom15]

Not many people know that I just went through a miscarriage in the past week.  I got the Mirena put in, in April 2010 three months after having Cheyenne... I thought my husband and I were done with children and then I realized I was not feeling like myself. I know that with the Mirena it can stop your period or atleast it comes and goes whenever if feels like coming, so I didn't think anything of it when I didn't get my period this month.  Then finally I thought about taking a test just to make sure.  Sure enough it came out positive. I didn't know how to feel, I didn't know if I wanted to be happy because it was a blessing I became pregnant under the circumstances or if I should be afraid because our daughter Cheyenne is still a baby only 8 months and our oldest is 4.

Then it hit me after getting the positive test that I had the Mirena in and I heard that if you conceive while having that in then it could be very dangerous. I went to the doctors that day and they took it out of me and explained to me that most likely the baby is not viable and won't stick. That with all the hormones in the Mirena and everything else the baby is most likely not alive and my body was just waiting to pass it. So they sent me home and told me to prepare myself to pass the baby and once I do to come back in to make sure everything came out. 

Well after two weeks of nothing happening the doctors actually called me and asked me if anything has happened yet. I explained to them that nothing was happening that I havent started bleeding or anything they told me to come in to be seen.  I went in yesterday 10-20-10 and they gave me an ultrasound to see if the baby was alive or what was going on. I saw my baby on the screen but there was no heartbeat, and they measured the baby and it stopped growing by 5 weeks. I was completely heartbroken even though I knew it was going to happen I still didn't think it was going to come down to seeing my baby on the screen...

The doctor opted for a DnC and that is was we did... Now my DH thinks that we are meant to have another baby, and wants to stay ttc but to be honest IDK if I can go through this all again. I know it probably only happened because of the Mirena and now I no longer have it but, this has been one of the worst things I have been though.  So I took today off of work to try to figure out everything that is going on with me and to take some time to adjust.  Any advice from anyone would be appreciated.. Thanks for reading sorry if it's a little lengthy.

 

[harleymama30]

Oct. 21, 2010 at 12:28 PM

You did the right thing on taking the day off. You need to do that. Sort through your feelings. I had 3 miscarriages, the one pregnancy I knew i was pregnant, had an actual due date. THAT one affected me alot. The other 2, I didnt know how I was suppose to feel because I didnt know that I was pregnant "officially" and how can you miss something you dont know you had?

You and the hubby need to sit down do a nice long talk and sort through both of your feelings. Dont have to do it "right now", sometime in the future. Never say Never is what I say. The pregnancy I have now, was a total and utter surprise, two forms of BC were used. 2! and I still got pregnant. All I know is that this baby is hellbent on getting here! I had to sit and go through my thought process as to whhat I wanted, there was a point where i was threatening to miscarry and i debated on if I wanted them to try and "save" the pregnancy or not. It may sound cold hearted but alot of women go through this and are afraid to admit to this. Its ok to doubt, we all do it.

Should you have another baby? Thats YOUR decision and SO, but hey if he is open about it then thats a good sign right? As for the ages of your other children, i had to smile a little bit...my oldest was 5 when i was pregnant with second one...the second one was almost 2months old when i got pregnant with number 3. 9weeks postpartum first time after having the second. When they confirmed it, i was like oh heck no we cant do this, but where there is a will there is a way. she even came almost a month early and it was kind of fun actually having them that close together.  I am so sorry about your miscarriage, no matter if they are planned or surprise pregnancies losing a baby is hard. No matter how far along you are. Pregnancies/babies happen for a reason. sorry for rambling

[Avetay]

Oct. 21, 2010 at 2:10 PM Oh sweetie I am so sorry. I know a MC is hard. I have had a few. Sadly there is really nothing I can say to make it hurt less. I am here for you if you want to talk. Hugs

[nellie6977]

Oct. 27, 2010 at 9:39 PM

I am so sorry for your loss. I have not had a miscarriage so I don't really know how you feel but I am wanted to offer my condolences. All I can say is everything happens for a reason and maybe you are meant to have another baby or this experience will make you realize that you do not want another baby. IDK. Feel better!

[hot_mami121]

Jan. 9, 2011 at 4:40 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. Maybe it is a sign you are supposed to have another baby. Did you decide if you are going to ttc again?